Comics

Alon found his way through my indie comics stash. I couldn't count how many times I had to read "The Hunters" (written by a four-year old, illustrated by my favorite Kajo) last night. This morning, he was carrying "Bakemono High" (illustrated by my other favorite, Elbert Or) to the playground.

Do I fear for the pages of these comics (already crumpled and crinkled) or feel proud that we might just have a shared passion someday? Hehehe! I think the answer is clear.

You're two!

Nanay has been anticipating your birthday for months.  We weren't going to have a party but Nanay was just both excited and nostalgic. For a week, Nanay has been telling you about your coming birthday.  You would smile and say, "Abby?" or "Vince?"  Theirs was the last birthday party you attended so that is why you probably thought it was theirs we were going to celebrate.

I told you that that it was YOUR birthday and you were to turn two.  It was probably a day or two before your birthday that when I broached the topic and said "Birthday na ni Alon sa Friday!"  This time you answered, "Jollibee?"  You answered the same thing the next day.  I'm not a big fan of fast food for you (though we often eat McDonald's pancakes on weekends, to be honest) but since it was your birthday, I decided that we should indulge you with your request.

But that is getting ahead of how we spent your day.  So let me start properly.

When you woke up, Nanay told you it was your birthday.  You had a big smile on your face and said, "Jollibee?" I agreed that we will eat at Jollibee for lunch. But there were things to do first!

I ordered a beautiful cake from Tita Vannie who makes Adele and Vita cakes. She was on her way to deliver it so we had to meet her downstairs. I gave you a glimpse of your cake when we got it.  You just had a peek of a dinosaur's head and you already had this big smile. That already made it worth it, for both Nanay and Tita Vannie. Then I showed you the cupcakes with dinosaur toppings and your smile got bigger.  Nanay and Tatay are already happy on your birthday seeing how you liked your cake!

We went back up to our room. We got a cupcake and put a candle on it. This time, Nanay was ready and already set aside a box of matches to light your candle.  You were excited to see the candle. I taught you how to blow it and you were able to. Yehey! After that, you ate the dino toppers which you liked. We split the cupcake in three but you only took a small bite. I ate the rest of your share. It was soooo good! Nanay wanted to eat more but had to stop herself because we had to share it with others who were going to visit you.

After we had our cupcake, we changed into our swimsuits and spent the morning at the pool. We also spent the morning swimming during your birthday last year. This time, Nanay asked Tatay to take a leave from work and just spend the day with us. So swimming was more fun with Tatay around.

I'm trying to remember if you took a nap or not after the swim but my nagging feeling is you didn't. We went to Jollibee for lunch to meet Ninong Roy who would not be able to join us with your dinner celebration. We ordered a bucket of chicken for the adults plus spaghetti and fries for you. You had a good helping of spaghetti, eating almost half of it. It was the fries that you liked more, though, shoving piece after piece inside your mouth.

After we were all done with our meal, Nanay took out three pieces of cupcake she brought from home. I put one candle each on two cupcakes but you insisted that the third one should have its own candle too. As you are the celebrant, your wish was our command. We lighted all three candles and you blew all of them one by one. You really liked blowing candles! Again, it was the toppers you wanted to eat though you did have a bit of the cupcake.

When we went back home, you finally took a nap. This was also a chance for Nanay and Tatay to rest a bit. By 5:30PM, Lolo and Lola picked us up so we can have dinner. We decided to eat at TGIFriday's because Lola had a discount card.  Ate Nonay came all the way from school to celebrate your day with you.

I don't think you enjoyed the food as much as Jollibee. You did have some fries. I guess, this was more for the adults than for you. The best part of the night was the cake reveal though. Once Nanay opened the box, your face just lit up seeing the three dinosaurs on top of your cake. We finished the rest of the cupcakes with everybody getting their share, including Tito Arvin and Tita Eva who couldn't make it. Everybody enjoyed the cupcakes. Yey! This made Nanay happy. We're getting cupcakes from Tita Vannie again. Hehehe!

The staff of TGIF surprised you with a song and an ice cream/coffee dessert. You were indeed surprised. You were just looking at them while they were singing. It took you a while to recover. You only started appreciating the singing when they sang for someone else already.

It was a happy day for Nanay, celebrating your second birthday. Happy because you were also happy. We did not have a grand birthday celebration like your first, but we had our family together and that is what made it meaningful.

Oh, my two year old toddler! I can't wait to see the tricks that you learn as you grow older. It's been two months since then and boy have you picked up a lot already. Let's see what three will be like. For now, we enjoy you being two. :)

Hey, Dad. It's 13 years after.

Hey Dad.

It has been thirteen years since you left us for something better.  I have long admitted to myself that somehow it was best that way.  You have been in too much physical pain and it was too much for everybody seeing you suffer, especially Mom.  We all knew you had come to terms with your mortality.  You even often thanked God for blessing you with the opportunity to share Jesus' pain of the cross.  That's the kind of bad ass crazy Christian you are.  

It has been thirteen years and yet we still miss you a lot.  I certainly do.  There were quite a few life events that I wish you were part of.  I met this nice guy who I eventually married.  We were surrounded by wonderful friends and family during our wedding day.  Your physical presence was missing but I knew you were there with Kuya and Mommy while they were giving me away.

I would have wanted to hear your wedding speech though.  You've always had a way with words, raw and honest and full emotions.  I would even bet that you would cry during the speech, which would probably have me in tears too.  And we would have a father and daughter dance which would start with the waltz but would end with the cha-cha, your favorite dance.

And  you have an apo with me na.  When he was a new born, he reminded me so much of you.  People often call him a Mini-Roy which just affirms he's a mini-Pen. 

Alon is growing up well.  I hope he takes after you in most things.  I pray that he grows up with your intelligence, your kindness and your humor. But I do hope he won't be a couch potato like you though!  

Daddy dearest, thank you for being the man, the husband, the father that you were.  Your love for Mommy showed me what love was like.  Seeing your love for Mom, it was what I looked for in a man.  I could not settle for anything less.

Like I said before, I now understand your little poster, "The best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother."  A father like that teaches his son the proper way to treat and love a woman.  A father like that teaches his daughter how she should be treated and loved.  Loving Mommy was definitely a priceless gift you gave to your children.

I know you have been watching over us all these years, Daddy.  We all miss you a lot.  At least I know that other than his guardian angel, another awesome Serafin is watching over Alon.

I love you, Daddy Pen. :)

The year that was 2012

I haven't answered this meme for several years already. Maybe because things got a little boring and most of things we worried about for the past two years were preparing the condo and getting furniture (some people would be excited by this but I have always been mobile and home stuff do not thrill me) and paying bills. Well, 2012 is still about that but with a big "little" extra that I can't get enough of


So thanks to Ina (and Lia who reminded Ina) for posting her year (and yey, Alon and I make a guest appearance!) because I'm copying her questions but not her answers of course.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
Got pregnant and gave birth! Snorkelling while pregnant. Saw a sea turtle in its natural habitat. Have a grand vacation with my family in Hongkong (thanks to my Mom’s sponsorship!)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t usually make any so I didn’t break any resolution. But with my bout with gestational diabetes, I resolved to lessen my softdrink and powedered juice intake. So far, I have been faring well with that one.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! And then there was Maricar and Fabiola and Sandra and Miwako and Alem from ISS (and a few of the boys had their wives/partners give birth too!). There was Sarji, Graziella, Evecar and Allison in the office. And Nic-Nic with their third girl. It was a pregnant year for my social circle!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don’t remember so that means no. It hurt to hear about still births though. :(

5. What countries did you visit?
Hongkong and Malaysia

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Motivation to write my thoughts down on paper. I think they are worth noting down. Hehe, feeling.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 4. Jan and I welcomed Alon to the world. :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Going to work in the morning (walked, rode a jeep and went up and down the stairs at that) and gave birth without anaesthesia in the afternoon. I am now a warrior. Bow before me, weaklings. Hehe!

And sustaining breastfeeding even if I had a few issues (and now different ones.) Until now, I'm working hard at it and hoping I can at least reach up to a year and even two (or three?).

9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping regular contact with my mom. Sometimes she doesn’t pick up kasi but I should still try more though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, I had gestational diabetes which I could say was a blessing in disguise. I was at my most healthy and most fit. It was easy giving birth and trimming down and I think it helped me provide my son with a healthy start in life too. :)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The adaptor for the Medela pump Rowie lent to me (thanks so much for that Row!). I was able to sustain having Alon on pure breastmilk for almost seven months now. And hopefully I can still keep it up. And those lactation cookies from Raquel and Mommy Treats. They really do seem to work. When I stopped, my production dip but now that I am back on them, my milk increased a bit. I still want to have more production though so I can have the opportunity to donate again.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nonay, because she has not been infected by the Manila urbanity (yet? Ever?) and I think she listens to her mom more now. Listening to your mom is always good! (Paging Alon!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Tito Sotto. Because really, how hard is it to admit your mistake?
CBCP. Because this fire and brimstone argument for anti RH bill did not win sympathies. I could argue against the bill without resorting to morality issues. Sheesh.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Furnishing the condo and pre-natal stuff and giving birth.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Alon

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Soft kitty, warm kitty. I sing it every night. Out of tune, but the baby doesn’t care. So there.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner and healthier!
iii. richer or poorer? Just the same I guess. Even if we spent a fortune on the condo and on the baby, we were still able to have some luxuries, so I would say we are blessed. :)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Write or blog.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying spells during post partum blues

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my mom and bro and Alon on the verandah of my aunt’s house in Davao. Jan was sick during Christmas eve with a stomach bug so was asleep. We spent most of the day in SM Lanang which had a nice breastfeeding station but poorly located. Then after 6.30, I just slept and slept and slept until the next day. With Alon waking me up for breastfeeding or nappy change.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
With Alon Camina. And when I remember to look at him properly, Jan Camina.

23. Who got together and who broke up?
There was an office romance. Ninin and Jerry got married. Kaira got married. I don’t know if anyone broke up.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory. Modern Family. How I met your mother. Ina, Kapatid, Anak. Be Careful with my Heart.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Annoyances here and there but not really hating anyone. No room for negativity.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Because it was one of the few books that actually made me confident with my parenting skills. I think attachment parenting is for me.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
U2 and Bob Marley for Babies. Thanks Tita Maita!

28. What did you want and got?
A boy.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t get to watch much. And I fell asleep during The Hobbit. Never watch a last full show if you are a new mom who hasn’t had a decent sleep for half a year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
34. I took care of the baby. I ate some pansit and had some cake and ice cream with Jan and my bro.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a two-bedroom condo

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Pormatics enough for a pregnant woman/new mom.

34. What kept you sane?
Maybe the internet and television. I was more depressed when we did not have any. :P

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tom Rodriguez. Ronaldo Valdez.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Cybercrime Law. RH Bill.

37. Who did you miss?
My sister. My mom. Yano.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Alon

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
That the heart is really, truly capable of loving deeply.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.

the story of a name

Back in high school, when I was harboring this big crush on a former Smokey Mountain member, I had names for our three children. It went along the lines of Kyle, Kylie, Joshua and permutations thereof. I was 15, so I should be forgiven.

I grew older, fell-in-love with the Philippines and realized how beautiful Filipino names are. I found myself liking the name Ulan and even thought of using that name if I had kids.

* * * * *

Holy Week of 2007, Jan and I went on a road trip with some friends to Surigao del Sur (SDS). There was no definite plan what we were going to do or where we will go. We ended up beach-hopping. Our last stop before going home was in Lanuza, SDS.

As Lanuza is famous for its surfing, we had to give it a try. We had loads of fun trying to surf. There was not much success with that especially since we were using short boards. I did succeed for a couple of seconds with a long board. I also tried the hardest since the rest of the gang were already lounging by the beach while I kept trying. I also had the least swimming skill (near zero).

While trying to surf, I had myself hit on the head, the tummy, the chin. I felt like I was put in a washing machine every time I fell. I was bruised and sore all over but I still enjoyed every moment.

After a tiring afternoon and a small-town carinderia dinner, we hung out by the Prospero Pichay Sr. Boulevard (epaaaaal!).  We sat on the benches and just soaked in the sound of the rushing waves.  The sky was clear and was peppered with stars.  I still had a bit of drama in me then, so at that time I was putting words together for a supposed poem.  The imagery I had was about the waves and the stars.  I asked Jan how he liked the names Alon (wave) and Tala (star). He said he did.  The rest of our conversation was about finding second names for Alon and for Tala. Suddenly Ulan was not as appealing as it used to be.

It was a beautiful, peaceful night.  Our bodies were tired but our souls were tranquil.  And there was my future husband and I dreaming of our future.

* * * * *

Fast forward five years, we finally have our little Alon. :)

* * * * *

And I did write that poem down.  I think it was the last poetry I ever wrote.


LANUZA

halakhak ng mga tala,
awitin ng mga alon.
kadaupang palad.
kapatiran.
kaibigan.

pagkapa sa gabi,
mala-alpombra.

nakabinbin sa hangin
ang alat ng dagat.
sinalo ng dilang uhaw,
sabik,
tigang,
sa misteryo ng buhay.

tikim.
subo.
lagok.

kay sarap.
busog na.
gusto pa.

manahimik.
ayan pa rin.

talang humahagikgik.
patuloy pa rin.

humaharana ang alon.

042507 2145

LANUZA
(loosely translated english version)
the laughter of the stars
the song of the waves

hands to hold.
brotherhood.
friendship.

feel the night.
it is velvet.

the taste of the sea
hangs in the air
caught by a thirsty tongue.
wanting,
parched
with the mystery of life

taste.
swallow.
swallow hard.

delectable.
i am full.
i want more.

hush.
it is still there.

the stars
still giggle.

the waves serenade.

7 years

It was under a tree somewhere near the Ateneo car park that THE conversation happened.

"Ano ito?"

Usually this question comes from the girl, but strangely enough it was the boy who asked.  The girl was not really expecting this question to come up any time soon.  It has just been three weeks of going together on dinners and movies and gigs. 

Never imagined myself getting in a whirlwind romance, but there I was.  But the question was asked.  Long story short, then friendster relationship status would have shifted from "it's complicated" to "in a relationship."  Not that I really bothered with that part of the profile. Hehehe!

It has been seven years since.

To celebrate, the hubby and I will be watching SPIT at Quantum Cafe.  Thanks to Groupon, we were able to get 50% off regular rates.  And I can't wait.  Not only because Jan and I have not yet had a decent date in ages, owing to moving houses and preparing for a baby but because I have not seen a SPIT gig in years.

It's a perfect celebration.  Watching silly people to commemorate our wonderfully silly seven years as a couple.

And the food is healthy enough for me too! Wheeee!

11.11.11

It was truly a special day for Jan and I.  

It was on this day that we confirmed that I was pregnant. With four home tests.  At around one in the morning.  Because I could not help but want to be absolutely sure.  

All four showed two strips. :)

And boy, did my body act up once we confirmed it! But it will be all worth it. :)

honeymoon: our first solo travel together (whu?)

Prior to getting married, J and I usually traveled with our friends. I actually don't remember going away on long trips just with him. And our friends are quite fun to travel with which makes every vacation a memorable one for us.

And we have such sweet friends! As their gift for our wedding, the fuhkers/barkadayawan peeps pooled their money together to pay for our tickets to Puerto Princesa. I was deeply touched and grateful for the wonderful gift. It was somehow appropriate. :)

It was our first night in Sabang and we have been going around the Baragatan Festival expo in the provincial plaza. After a while, we decided to have dinner in Ka Lui's. The restaurant is quite famous in Puerto Princesa so we wanted to try it for ourselves.

When we got there, we found out that the place was closed on Mondays. Whu?!! Just so we don't have to stress out on our meal too much, we decided to go the restaurant next door, Lotus Garden. The set-up of the place was beautiful and artsy. The food was just average.

I think we were having some soup when my new husband blurted out, "nakaka-miss sina Je." I told him, "di ko alam kung gusto kitang batukan e" or some vile thing like that. I was kidding of course, but I did not know what to make of it. I mean, it was our honeymoon for good sakes. Finally, after years together, we actually get to go to a place just by ourselves and he would say that. I quickly thought, was I that boring a company. I didn't keep it a thought for long. "So what, you think I'm boring company?" Half-kidding, half-serious.

"Di naman. Sanay lang ako na lagi silang kasama." I just laughed at the statement though a part of me still wanted to pinch him in the sides. Or maybe I did pinch him, I just don't remember any more. :P

A couple days later, we were having breakfast by the sea watching the calm early morning beach and the boats floating serenely, when I told J, "oo nga, nakakamiss sila." Then we started laughing and remembering the crazy adventures we had with our friends.

While we did miss the company of our friends, we did enjoy our honeymoon the same way we did with people. We explored most of Sabang, including silly poses (FHM-ish, can't help it, we were just too inspired by the scenery and the quiet) by the Sabang Falls. We splurged on our last day at the amazing, worth-it splurge of Daluyon resort.

Typhoon Frank did turn our relaxing week in Palawan into an Amazing Race trip home, but otherwise it was a perfect time together. A nice start to our new life. :)

The only thing I was certain of, the downside with just two of you in a trip... you don't get the best photos. But you do get a lot of silly ones. :)

In a hammock in Dap Dap Resort while waiting for our crabs to cook. I think I taught Jan to eat crabs more here. Pinaghimay ko ng konti e.

On the way to Sabang Falls. We were able to ask the caretaker/toll collector to take a photo of us.

Enjoying our last night at Sabang. Before we saw the sun set and the full moon rise. One of my best moments with the hubby. :)

Wedding memories: Minette Santiago

This is an entry almost two years overdue. Better late than never though. :P

Back in college, I asked an English classmate to draw me a wedding gown. Just because. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to get married but it was just a fun thing to do on a sunny day while trying not to think of homeworks and essays to do.

That was 14 years before my actual wedding. I would have used that sketch as a peg but I don't know where it is anymore. So I was forced to look through bridal magazines (which good friend R lent to me) to look at gowns that I want mine to be patterned after. I really couldn't find something that I really wanted. Maybe because I was in the mindset that I'd just get a nice off-the-rack white dress from Karimadon. But when J's mom offered to pay for the entourage gowns, I had to think about a design and a designer.

Honestly, I don't know why I would want to spend so much money on a dress that I would wear just once. Even for a once in a lifetime event like my wedding. Yep, I am so much of cheapskate. Canvassing in wedding expo's, my jaws dropped most often. Dresses would cost from P20,000 up! Whada?!

I was lucky to have R recommend Minette Santiago. R was supposed to have Minette make her wedding gown but Minette was booked at the time of her wedding. I've also heard good reviews about her from another friend, though again, they were not able to get Minette's services because she was booked.

Since I really did not have anything in mind, I just gave her some pegs of what I thought I liked or what I thought would look good. I had to ask her to tell me whether it was okay or not. I told her I did not want a pouffy gown and I would rather not wear a petticoat.

Here's the thing... Minette was able to convince me to wear a small petticoat. She convinced me not to wear separate pieces just so I can wear it again. She was able to put together my ideas onto one dress. I wasn't entirely sure if that was what I wanted, but it looked impressive on sketch. So I said go with it.

It was always fun visiting her home/studio in White Plains because her Chow-Chow just had four pups. Other than that, she was really very professional and easy to talk to. She puts people at ease and listens to what they want and adjusts what she things can be improved on.

During my final fitting, which was a week before the wedding I think, I saw the gown. It still did not have the beads on, and it was just lace on top. I did not like it. It fit well, the skirt flowed nicely, but I felt that the top was too old. I actually cried that night thinking about the gown. I thought it wasn't me. I had to call one of my bride's maid to talk to me and tell me it will be fine.

When the day came, and Minette's staff delivered the gown, it was beautiful! I was in-love with it! It was waaaaaay better than what it looked like during the fitting. What was more, Mama G, who was going to do my make-up, also was impressed with the gown as he entered the hotel room. When he liked it, I was assured that I got the perfect dress for my wedding. It was not the way I thought it would be, but it was just right. Thanks to Minette.

I highly recommend brides to get her if they can. She is quite affordable, very professional and very friendly. My entourage also liked their dresses, except for my sister, but they never really got the chance to talk because she was in Cebu.

I really liked the silhouette of the gown. Not too pouffy.

The top that I worried about. The beading was lovely!

Simple yet elegant.

my one and only love

It was another one of those nights when J was bringing me home to Sta. Ana. He brought a tape (lost to Ondoy) to play some Sting on the way home. It was a pleasant surprise when he asked me to listen to a particular song. And an even better surprise hearing him sing along with it. He told me it was his song for me. Kinilig lola niyo! That was a rare moment of an verbal expression of love. I couldn't help but feel good.

The song became my bridal march played on the organ and violin. It was lovely. :)

MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE (lyrics)

written by Robert Mellin & Guy Wood

The very thought of you makes
My heart sing
Like an April breeze
On the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendour
My one and only love

The shadows fall
And spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night
While you're in my arms
I feel your lips so warm and tender
My one and only love

The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own

You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love

The blush on your cheek
Whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own
You fill my eager heart with
Such desire
Every kiss you give
Sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love

My one and only love

a promise

I made a promise to myself that when I get married, I will not mind being publicly affectionate. Not in the disturbing to others kind of way, but just the "I'm with this dude" kind of way. I always had this notion that married couples who still hold hands and act like they're bf-gf are way more romantic.

I'm keeping true to that word. :)

(thus absolutely cheese entries to this blog. ;p)

five years

It was the 19th of January of 2005. We were walking towards my favorite spot in school. Well, I walked and he limped. We sat on a giant slab of stone underneath a large tree. I don't remember our conversation but for some reason it steered towards defining the 'relationship.' We held hands, went out every night for two weeks and went home real late. I told myself to just go with the flow. Defining the relations was a question I did not think of asking so early in the relationship. But he asked. Strange thing for a guy to do. I wasn't expecting to leave Manila with a change of friendster status (friendster was the in social networking then). But after around 10.30PM, from 'single' I became 'in a relationship.'

Five years ago since we became a couple. I only knew him for a couple of months prior to that. Too fast I thought. But then he said something to the effect of why wait when you know it's what you want. Maybe I did not know if that was what I wanted but then I thought, "what the heck?!"

And so here we are five years since that night. He, lying in bed and snoring his tiredness away as I sit by his side typing away on the laptop as I reminisce a night I almost forgot if M did not remind us today after our Zombieland laugh trip.

Five years. It seems so long ago but it is short compared to the years ahead of us. :)