tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69569044260786856792024-03-14T02:25:01.480+08:00so this is married life...<i>chronicles of a woman in occasional disbelief she actually took the big plunge and is now a wife and mother</i>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-87232739830820573632021-06-13T00:30:00.020+08:002021-06-13T00:30:00.199+08:0013 years on the 13th. :)<p>What I have learned these past 13 years is <b>marriage is a choice.</b> Not just on your wedding day, but every moment thereafter.</p>There are days when the yes comes easy and effortless. <div><br /></div><div>There are days when the yes is on auto-pilot, because life keeps going and who has the time to even think?<br /><div><br />There are days, however, and sometimes more often than you wish, that it's so difficult, you want to say no. But you choose to say yes even with the doubt, because maybe tomorrow it's going to be different. Yet, you wake up the day after, and you still want to say no. So you convince yourself to say yes because this is what you signed up for. You knew in theory that marriage is not a bed of roses, except you did not realize there will be days when it can be so exhausting. You did not realize there will be days you look in the mirror and you don't seem to know the person looking back at you. There are days that you think being on your own would be easier, but then you remember nights when you were single that you thought the grass is greener on the other side and wished to cross that fence. So you say yes. Sometimes grudgingly, sometime apathetically. But you choose the yes. You choose it day in, day out.</div><div><br /></div><div>And then there is that day when saying yes turns out to be effortless and easy again. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Next thing we know it, we're one day closer and closer to our promised forever. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>My dearest Labs... cheers to the 13 years of yeses we've made and cheers to the coming years we make our daily choice of each other.</div><div><br /></div><div><----------0----------></div></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-31901380601391423252017-05-23T18:34:00.001+08:002017-05-23T18:34:56.719+08:00Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"Love Letters to the Dead" gave me the same wistful feeling of sadness and hope, gravity and flight like "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" did.</div>
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I have long been looking at the display of the book whenever I pass by a bookstore. There is something in the title that intrigued me to no end. But having little space for books and less time for reading, I decide to skip getting it.</div>
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Yesterday, while waiting at the airport, I realized I had an ebook version. I finally decided to give it a go.</div>
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The first phrase was "Dear Kurt Cobain,"</div>
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That line already got me hooked. I knew it was going to be interesting.</div>
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It all started as an English assignment in which the lead character, Laurel, had to write letters to the dead. Laurel ends up writing to different famous dead people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Judy Garland, etc. as she deals with her personal tragedy and coming of age.</div>
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I could feel myself getting drawn into the story, into Laurel's loss and pain and hope and anger. I could feel my stomach churn as she started falling in love with Sky or my heart writhe as she held onto her memories of her dead sister, May. I wished for Kirsten and Tristan's ending to be different and yet know it is what it shall be. I wished for Natalie and Hannah to find their truth. <br />
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She wrote letters to dead people, mostly musicians. People who seemed brave, yet it ended up they were fragile and vulnerable as we are. Maybe more so. They were famous, yet they were alone and lost. At some point, they were so lost, they decided to totally let go.<br />
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I loved the book the way I loved "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and "Looking for Alaska." I love how it was about a bunch of lost people trying to find their way together. Maybe they'll end up taking the same road, maybe they will be taking different paths. What was important then was they had each other to take the journey with<br />
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It was that kind of book that after you closed it, you stare into space and try to gather and fathom as much of the feelings you had from reading it. You may have gone through something similar, you may have not. You are not them, but somehow, once upon a time or maybe right now you felt as they did. <br />
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You stare into space and you imagine holding the hearts of the characters and wish them well. You are doubtful they will have their happily ever after. You know better. But you hope that there will always be something for them to get them through the day. You look at them walking wounded (borrowing from EBTG), yet you know it is those very wounds and those very scars that made them beautiful. <br />
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I loved the book so much that I actually took the time to write how I feel about it! cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-9009769952532435612016-10-27T17:49:00.000+08:002016-10-28T11:27:04.545+08:00Labs!(I'm starting to think this blog is really just there to greet the hubby on his birthday. Hehe!)<br />
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I'm torn. Should I go mushy or should I go funny? Since I have only a few minutes to write this, I'll just go with the flow.<br />
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Happy birthday, Labs!<br />
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It has been a very, VERY exciting year. And you know that I do not mean it in a "wow, what a great year it was."<br />
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It was exciting because there was much stretching of our selves this year.<br />
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You were stretched as a son, having lost Papa.<br />
You were stretched as a father, when we finally decided, let's raise our children on our own, without a yaya. You are a wonderful one.<br />
You were stretched as a husband by the very fact that your wife is me. Hah. :<br />
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All through everything, you remained calm and chill. As opposed to my emotional and stressed. Much as it usually frustrates me, it also impresses me. How do you do it?! That's the Jan magic, I guess.<br />
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So yeah, you are a walking paradox to me.<br />
Your very virtues that annoy the hell out me, I know, are also the very ones that help you put up with my frenetic energy.<br />
You are my boon and bane.<br />
You are my annoyance and comfort.<br />
You stress me and yet if it were somebody else, I'd probably be more stressed.<br />
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And I doubt this message will make it to love message of the year, but it is coming from a message of love and devotion. (Though me, devoted is not an easy sight to picture.)<br />
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So yeah, happy birthday! I may not show it, but I know I'm lucky. Only a guy of your patience could put up with my neurosis.<br />
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Thank you for being my partner. You will always be my Labs. :)<br />
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<br />cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-75733615802315031872015-10-27T14:04:00.000+08:002015-10-28T14:07:31.894+08:0040<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yan ba ang mukhang kwarenta? <br />
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Maligayang kaarawan. Marami pa akong gustong sabihin, pero atin-atin na lang yun.<br />
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cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-62630901798488896862015-04-21T23:05:00.001+08:002015-04-21T23:05:48.546+08:00Weaning time?Yesterday, while I was dressing up Alon for sleep time, he declared. "Di na ako magdede kasi malaki na ako." I was actually thinking he was trying to impress his new pretty (temp) yaya. Haha! When we got to bed, I reminded him of what he said. He confirmed that he would not be nursing since he was a big boy already. How proud I was! Except he woke up several times in the middle of the night, semi-conscious, asking to nurse. I refused, reminding him of what he said.<div><br></div><div>Today, he declared it again. And yes, we did not nurse to sleep. Hopefully, there will br less waking up tonight so he won't be begging to nurse.</div><div><br></div><div>That Baby Blues cartoon is true indeed. Bittersweet. I feel so relieved that he is almost ready to wean. To be honest, I'm a bit tired of nursing Alon but it's just less stressful to let him nurse than battle him every night. Besides, it helps with my milk supply for Alab. But in a way, I am wistful of the past two years and almost ten months of nourishing my son.</div><div><br></div><div>Let's see if this is finally it for Alon. I hope for Alab, I achieve two years too. At least, this Sunday, we will be reaching his half-year milestone. I will be a quarter of the way of my goal. Yey!</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-37318099948682711272015-01-17T22:57:00.001+08:002015-01-17T22:57:33.070+08:00Random ramblings about boysWhen I was younger, I told myself that I would never allow a boy to hold me down. It was actually the movie "Kramer vs. Kramer" that led me to that resolve. I didn't want to be Meryl Streep leaving her family because she did not know who she is. <div><br></div><div>While I was single I made the most of what I had and to do as much as I could with my NGO salary. I had lots of fun with good friends who were the perfect travel buddies and gimik partners. </div><div><br></div><div>Then I met someone the moment I stopped looking. Things changed a bit but I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">was lucky enough to be with a man who had the courage and security to let me fly, whether with him or on my own. Eventually, I married that man on a Friday the 13th in 2008. A couple of months after I flew to Netherlands to pursue my masters. Nope, that boy did not tie me down and even wished me a wonderful time, which I did have.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">The fates, however, like to play tricks. Now, they made me eat the words I told myself many moons ago. I can't believe that a couple of boys tied me down! One aged 2.5 years and another 2.5 months. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">The Pope Francis fever is ongoing in the Philippines. Two and a half years ago, I would have chosen to brave the crowd and the rains just to see the Pope. Twenty years ago, I was a scraggly 16year old who carried 24 cans of Coke in her backpack and walked from the Vito cruz LRT station to the Grandstand with that load by herself with no posse to go with, just to attend Pope John Paul's Mass. I did meet up with a friend after (who had his other friends who consumed most of my Coke!) and we eventually got lucky to bump into the Ateneo contingent. Luckier still that as we were trying to meet with the Ateneo contingent, it was the Pope's convoy that we first bumped into! Oh, the joy of that surprise encounter. :)</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I will not have any surprise encounter right now with a Pope I adore and admire greatly despite the fact that the Nunciature is probably 3-4KM away from where we live. I have been tied down by those two, in particular, the smallest of the bunch. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I'm missing out a bit, I know. But the Pope himself has consoled me during the meeting with the families as well as his homily in Tacloban when he made mention of the Mother. That is my role now, one I have embraced fully and sometimes obsessively. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">FOMO - fear of missing out. I have missed out a lot with Pope Francis in terms of having a personal encounter. But I have several TV networks to provide me consistent updates. And seeing him, even through a small screen, is already enriching and spiritually nourishing. But there is no camera to follow my boys around and I am definitely their number one devotee. I am the one they call "mother." </font><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">When Alon wakes up, he calls for me first. When Alab wakes up and I greet him, he has this sweetest smile that assures me he is happy to see me.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I will not be able to say I was there waiting for the Pope to pass by or to listen to him say Mass personally. But I can say that I put to sleep a two and a half year old to sleep by chanting "Viva Il Papa, Papa Fracesco." Neither boy will remember what I chose to give up during these five days but I will. (And I will remind them every time they are naughty! Hehe!)</span></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-31533495081785662482014-12-09T14:01:00.001+08:002014-12-09T14:06:17.329+08:00Labor Day - AlabMy labor with Alon lasted about six hours in the hospital. Probably additional four while doing my business in the office that morning. I thought that was fast hearing stories from friends. Apparently not compared to Alab!<div><br></div><div>My OB did warn me that labor the second time around would be faster. I did not realize how fast was faster!</div><div><br></div><div>Alon came out when I was 36weeks 6 days with him. So when I reached the 37th week, I was getting a bit impatient though full term is really 39 weeks. During the wait, I'd have very uncomfortable Braxton-Hicks contractions which could be mistaken for labor so when the actual labor came, I was again assuming it to be a bad case of BH!</div><div><br></div><div>I have been suspecting early labor since Saturday but did not pay it much heed knowing I will just be sent home if I was less than 3cm dilated. Or they may make me stay which would up the cost of the hospital unnecessarily (cheapskate, remember). Sunday morning, the contractions were getting more frequent. But according to my contraction timer, it was still early labor. </div><div><br></div><div>I wanted to go to Mass early and Jan said we can walk around Ayala Triangle to induce the labor. We weren't able to do as planned because the brunch Jan was preparing was ready by 2pm. Hehe!</div><div><br></div><div>By 3pm, I suspect that I was in active labor already but I still did not want to go to the hospital. I had to concede though that Mass and Ayala Triangle were no longer a good idea. I told Jan there was a Mass at MMC at 7PM so we could go there instead.</div><div><br></div><div>By 4.30PM, I called my brother so he can stay with Alon while we were at the hospital. I took a bath and Jan got my hospital bag ready. I wanted to wait until he got to our place but by 6PM, I decided to finally go because the pain was getting really, really uncomfortable. </div><div><br></div><div>We got to the hospital around 6:30PM. </div><div><br></div><div>Since my pregnancy was unremarkable (always a good term in doctorese. Hehe!), we were able to avail of the maternity package. This included the anaesthesiologist and related meds. So again, there was the surprised nurses and resident when I opted not to have an epidural. In a sense, it was crazy indeed when it's paid for. I just wanted to be drug-free the entire experience.</div><div><br></div><div>I have to admit that I was *this* close to asking for it because the pain was none like I experienced with Alon. While it was six hours, it was a gradual increase in pain that was tolerable. This time, it was a sharp increase that I was not ready for. I was gripping the bed rails like mad, the nurse was telling me, "mommy, baka masira po!" </div><div><br></div><div>As usual, these crazy hospital staff kept asking me the same questions I was asked prior to admission. I wanted to shout at them and tell them to go ask each other because can't they damn well see how much pain I am in. I just answered anyway. And all those effin' forms I had to sign, papers they kept shoving to my face while in the middle of a contraction. Argh.</div><div><br></div><div>I wanted Jan to be with me since we were doing lamaze but they said they can only let him in in the delivery room. We were still in the labor room. I asked of we can have the birthing room instead which we would just pay on top of the package. Crazy hospital said that was not allowed since I was having the package. In the middle of my pain, I was arguing with them about their insane logic. After all, I was willing to pay extra. This time, I was glad they did not heed the customer because it was unnecessary. I was also asking if I can go to the toilet because I felt like I was going to poop. They told me I can just use the bed pan instead. (No, it was not poop but Alab getting ready).</div><div><br></div><div>I was yelling so hard with the pain, I pity the other moms hearing me. Jan could hear me from outside. My OB was not yet there, so the resident was handling me. And of all the things to tell me, "mommy, don't push yet." WTF! No way am I not going to push! I wanted the pain over and done with! And besides, it's not like I can help it.</div><div><br></div><div>So we were still at the labor room when I heard "crowning!" They had to rush me to the delivery room. I was asking for Jan already. He still wasn't there. Still no sign of my OB. It was probably between five to ten minutes since they transferred me to delivery that Alab came out. He arrived before my OB and before Jan.</div><div><br></div><div>My doctor arrived in time for clean up and episiotomy. And she gets full fees pa din as agreed. Swerte niya. Hehe! We were transferred to the recovery room. I was so hungry I asked Jan for a Burger King meal.</div><div><br></div><div>At 7:25PM, we welcomed Alab who was 47cm and 6lbs 13 ozs upon arrival. He came out after 38weeks and 4 days. While he took his sweet time in my tummy, he wasted no time getting out when he was finally ready. :)</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sSCwBdMWHZc/VIaQN6yXNII/AAAAAAAAB2A/2HFzPqiZ3Ow/s640/blogger-image--431570042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sSCwBdMWHZc/VIaQN6yXNII/AAAAAAAAB2A/2HFzPqiZ3Ow/s640/blogger-image--431570042.jpg"></a></div><br></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-53299822629142447282014-12-06T21:49:00.001+08:002014-12-09T13:24:11.373+08:00MockingjayMy first time away from Alab was spent watching Mockingjay, which I really enjoyed. Though I was half wondering if that was a good idea since it was quite a heavy movie. Which was to be expected since I read the book anyway. <div><br></div><div>What was the experience like, this day off...</div><div>1. Kung mamalasin ka nga naman! I ended up seated beside THAT moviegoer who gives a running commentary of something you are actually seeing yourself. "Uy, daming flowers." Who barely has an idea what's going on, "madami pala flowers dun..." Who has to give an opinion which shows he barely understands the complexity of things, "parang baliw!" Referring to Pollux. Wanted to smack him but had to restrain myself.</div><div><br></div><div>2. Finnick Odair is so damn hot, it's ridiculous. What kind of jaw is that?! </div><div><br></div><div>3. Effie Trinket can rock that jumpsuit in so many ways!</div><div><br></div><div>4. PSH. :(</div><div><br></div><div>5. Revolution scenes always make me cry. The courage of the nameless people who choose to fight in the name of freedom. I think of Syria, Iraq, Rwanda... I feel blessed that I can speak up without fear of being shot. </div><div><br></div><div>7. "Hanging Tree" scene... Wow. So powerful.</div><div><br></div><div>8. My poor Peeta.</div><div><br></div><div>9. Margery Tyrell is even hottermas Cressida. Wish I canwear my hair like that!</div><div><br></div><div>10. Can't wait for Part 2.</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-63510450065720928902014-11-11T16:56:00.001+08:002014-11-11T16:56:46.038+08:00Labor Day-AlonIt's funny how my labor story for Alab is somewhat close to Alon's mainly because I was still not sure if it was Braxton-Hicks or real labor already. Giving birth one time did not really make me any wiser about it. <div><br></div><div>With Alon, it was a Wednesday. I had contractions in the morning but not much feeling any different from false labor so I paid it no heed. I got ready for work and rode the jeep. For the first time in ine months, somebody was actually kind enough to make space for me rather than having me go all the way inside th vehicle.</div><div><br></div><div>Walking to the office, I was feeling more pains but I was still not sure. When I got to the reception, I had to stop a bit to breathe and keep still as the pains came. I was told I look like I was giving birth already. I said I wasn't sure but would probably need to take a leave the next day if such pains persist. Hah! When I got to my room, my colleagues was telling me I was looking pale already.</div><div><br></div><div>I had my contraction timer with me and it did seem the contractions were becoming more frequent and constant. I thought maybe I should give the doctor a visit. But before I did, I told my colleagues to let me wrap up a few things with HR and do some emails before I go. There was no need to worry because it will take time to deliver.</div><div><br></div><div>I did all the stuff I wanted to do. HR was kind enough to lend a vehicle to bring to the hospital but I asked to be brought home instead since I had my hospital bag there and Jan was still home. By the time I left the office, it seems I was in active labor already. I still did not leave for the hospital. I had a small meal of crackers and sardines, in case labor would take a while. Then I took a bath, just in case it will take some time before I get to do it again.</div><div><br></div><div>Finally, we took a cab to the hospital. We went straight to the delivery room declaring myself in labor. Since I was not eligible for the package, we got a lamaze room. Because we did plan for lamaze. The doctor took an internal exam declaring me 4-5cm dliated. Good. Halfway there! </div><div><br></div><div>Imagine the shock and awe when I told the nurses and residents that I don't intend to have epidural. The "supportive" resident told me, "are you sure? No Filipina has succeeded so far." I wanted to smack her if I weren't in so much pain. I joked instead, "an anaesthesiologist costs. I didn't budget for it." Which is half my reason indeed. Why pay so much for a guy who'd stab me with a long needle? Besides queens and princesses gave birth au naturelle back in the days and lived to rule countries. Hehe!</div><div><br></div><div>Good call for me. I gave birth after five hiurs. Breathing exercises helped. The resident was finally on my side when after a ciuple of hours her internal exam revealed 8cm. She said I can do it since I was dilating fast. My wonderful husband took a photo of me while pained. I yelled at him, "what the hell?" To which the nurse chirped in, "Sir, she's okay. she still knows what you are doing."</div><div><br></div><div>So the Moment was coming without me knowing. I thought I was going to poop so I wasn't pushing properly. The doctor said that that was exactly the baby ready to go forth into the world, that I had to make do like I would if I needed to go. So "go" I did. And hurrah, Alon was born at 6:07PM at 2977kg, 47cm.</div><div><br></div><div>I thought I did it quick but wait til you hear Alab's labor story!</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-63760068882738571372014-11-01T09:37:00.001+08:002014-11-01T09:37:37.979+08:00Ohana means familyFamily is love. :)<div>These are the days I am amazed at how much love a person is capable of. Love is not divided, it is multiplied. #overwhelmed<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--IjHpOgqsgc/VFQ5TGepALI/AAAAAAAAB1g/1eTWGsXR3Lk/s640/blogger-image--1544482157.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--IjHpOgqsgc/VFQ5TGepALI/AAAAAAAAB1g/1eTWGsXR3Lk/s640/blogger-image--1544482157.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ZtrY0vkJ-z8/VFQ5VJ2aYUI/AAAAAAAAB1o/sjDKwCfLGtw/s640/blogger-image--507335230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ZtrY0vkJ-z8/VFQ5VJ2aYUI/AAAAAAAAB1o/sjDKwCfLGtw/s640/blogger-image--507335230.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-mTURko-rdoE/VFQ5ReMnLoI/AAAAAAAAB1Y/xYko05J0ZD0/s640/blogger-image-79587786.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-mTURko-rdoE/VFQ5ReMnLoI/AAAAAAAAB1Y/xYko05J0ZD0/s640/blogger-image-79587786.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-AXPHwfCuuXU/VFQ5OwLZAXI/AAAAAAAAB1Q/wW_WxPLCwCQ/s640/blogger-image--1103818124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-AXPHwfCuuXU/VFQ5OwLZAXI/AAAAAAAAB1Q/wW_WxPLCwCQ/s640/blogger-image--1103818124.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Sy1sSe-LNug/VFQ5X1fLBQI/AAAAAAAAB1w/H7cEnuFU1r0/s640/blogger-image-901538848.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Sy1sSe-LNug/VFQ5X1fLBQI/AAAAAAAAB1w/H7cEnuFU1r0/s640/blogger-image-901538848.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-q4HL2r78biQ/VFQ5MgVXlVI/AAAAAAAAB1I/A52TXdnBTx8/s640/blogger-image-1318007580.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-q4HL2r78biQ/VFQ5MgVXlVI/AAAAAAAAB1I/A52TXdnBTx8/s640/blogger-image-1318007580.jpg"></a></div></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-14703465898083237572014-11-01T08:48:00.001+08:002014-11-01T08:48:11.256+08:00Blowing bubblesYou can do it by yourself na!<div>So proud. :)<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zxdAUEYE1kI/VFQtyI7aK-I/AAAAAAAAB04/ZoNJPoTDTsc/s640/blogger-image-1415512758.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-zxdAUEYE1kI/VFQtyI7aK-I/AAAAAAAAB04/ZoNJPoTDTsc/s640/blogger-image-1415512758.jpg"></a></div></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-42047313621127219922014-11-01T01:11:00.001+08:002014-11-01T01:11:59.342+08:00Kuya AlonIt has been a blessing that Alon is receiving his brother well. I have been nervous the entire time I wasconceiving Alab about how well his Kuya would take to him.<div><br></div><div>I could not have been any happier seeing his reaction when he first saw Alab. He had this very big smile on his face, pointed to Alab and said, "baby brother" in a giggly voice. He wanted to touch him so I guided his hand to be gentle.</div><div><br></div><div>There have been moments when I can sense jealousy. Mainly when it was about breastfeeding. He does know that Alab takes priority but he threw a terrible tantrum when we had to stop his own feeding for Alab. After that episode, I learned to prompt him about new nursing rules. It's still a challenge but Alon has been quite receptive of the conditions.</div><div><br></div><div>We also had reading together moments, the three of us. He'd also always talk about Alab, about what his little brother is doing. I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">am so grateful for this. It's only been five days but I do appreciate this good start. My prayers now include that they be friends. I keep imagining the "kalokihan" they might brew up as they grow... Half of me hopes for Gred and Feorge level, half of me hopes they'd be all-behaved. Haha! Basta. Sana resbak nila ang isa't-isa. Hehe!</span></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-9305733701226215472014-10-27T00:30:00.000+08:002014-10-27T00:30:01.220+08:00Labs, Happy Birthday!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Uy. 13 X 3 ka na! Di naman halatang Tandercats ka na. Pasalamat ka na bebeh-face ka kahit na mas dumadami na puti kesa itim mong buhok. Keribels lang yan. Richard Gere or George Clooney lang ang peg (parehong di ko type).</div>
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Sabi nila, pag tumatagal ang pagsasama, nagigising daw sa katotohanan. Halos nine years na tayo. Pero baligtad ata. Nabubulag na ako. Pogi ka pala? Alam mo naman, kahit nuong bago pa lang tayo, di na kita type. Oo, mahal kita, pero di kita type. Maputi ka, type ko maitim. Muscular ka, type ko patpatin. Balbon ka, type ko balat pwet ng baby. </div>
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Buti na lang, mabait ka. Tsaka nagsalita ka na nung tumugtog si Bong Gabriel sa computer ko nung nasa Davao tayo. Kasi sa totoo lang, di ko napapansin na nasa kwarto ka. So quiet naman you, kasi. </div>
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Tapos buti na lang binanggit mo ang magic words na "Neil Gaiman"... Hala! Di man kita type, feel ko naman ang trip mo. Biro mo ba naman umagahin tayo ng kwentuhan sa Korokkan videoke dahil kay Neil at pati na rin sa X-Men. Nahuli mo uli ang aking pansin nung kilala mo ang "Reavers" story line. Ayus!</div>
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So dun na nagsimula ang lahat. Kala ko naman, trip trip lang. Malay ko bang dadaanin mo ako sa santong paspasan? Never saw that in you. Haha! Aggressive ka din pala pag gusto mo na makuha ang sagot. Kung sabagay, di pwede ang lalamya-lamya sa basketball player.<br />
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By the way, huwag mo na uulitin yung hairstyle sa taas ha? Lalo pa't ang tipid mo gumamit ng pang-ahit.<br />
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So yun, three years tayong mag-uyab at hello, hello! Six years na pala tayong kasal. Bongga! Minsan parang kailan lang, minsan parang yun na lang ang alam ko na life experience. Tama nga si Einstein na time is relative. Depende kung san ka nakatingin, iba din takbo ng oras. Ayus.<br />
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Di ko alam kung kasingkulit pa rin tayo ng dati. Buti na lang di talaga tayo sweet-sweet-an. At least di ko masasabing, "nagbago ka na!" Kasi ganun ka pa din. Haha! Pero actually, naso-sorpresa mo na rin ako sa iyong mga Mother's Day flowers and birthday flowers. Mabuti na lang mura lang yung flower shop malapit sa office. :P<br />
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Masasabi ko lang, kelangan natin magdagdag ng couple pics. Mahihirapan mga anak natin maghanda ng special video sa ating 20th/25th anniversary. Bilang ina, ayaw ko silang mahirapan. Lezdodis!<br />
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Pero kahit di mo halata minsan. O halata mo, pero di mo lang pinahahalata na halata mo kasi alam mong ayaw ko pahalata... Alam ko na swerte ako bilang partner-in-life mo. Kahit obsessed ka masyado sa tables at furnitures, swerte pa din ako. Kahit na masungit ako (hirap ng middle-class in Manila e) pa-minsan-minsan (minsan lang ba?)...<br />
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Swerte ako dahil inaalagaan mo ako. Aba e, ilang lalaki ba dyan ang magtitiyaga mamalengke/grocery, maglaba ng ahem at kung anu-ano pa? Dahil ginagawa mo yun, mas naalagaan ko ng mabuti ang ating Alon (at Alab).<br />
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Swerte din mga anak mo. Sa picture pa lang sa taas, handa ka na ma-Hop on Pop para lang mapahagikgik sila. Minsan naloloka ako kasi nasa computer at TV ka habang nasa hapag-kainin (ang gadget-free meal times ko!!!), napagsasabihan ka naman. Panganay ka, kelangan mowdel. Hehe! Pero yun, swerte sila dahil hands-on ka, from nappy change to bath time to read time. Kita mo naman ang tuwa ni Alon pag umuuwi ka.<br />
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At happy din ako, dahil alam ko na magiging active ang ating mga anak. Isama na sa basketball sa kanto, football sa park, gym sa YMCA. Bahala ka na. Alam mo naman may tamaditis ako pagdating sa exercise.<br />
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At alam kong lalaking matino sa partners ang mga boys natin kasi makikita nila kung gano mo ako ka-lab. Hehe! Mataas kaya standards ko kasi Tatay ko ay lab na lab ang Nanay ko. So I really couldn't settle for any thing less. Naks.<br />
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Maligayang bati, Labs! Tingnan mo naman ang peetyur na yan sa taas. Kagigising pa lang ni Alon. Hehe! Nasa tiyan pa si Alab. Pero yan... sana patuloy nating trabahuin na maging masaya at payapa ating munting pamilya. Yun naman din ang tunay na nagtali sa atin, di ba? Ang pagpapahalaga sa pamilya... na ito ang importante sa lahat. :)</div>
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Malayo pa ang ating lalakbayin, pero naniniwala ako na magkasama tayo all the way. Holding hands pa. You, me, Alon and Alab. Mwaaaaaaah! Happy batatay, kung kay Alon pa. :)</div>
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cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-89826815878589069032014-10-23T17:46:00.000+08:002014-10-23T17:46:21.372+08:00Wean-SaryDear Alon, <br />
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It has been a month since you last nursed!<br />
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I have a letter in the making but I've not fully put it together yet. I just want to commemorate this day. :)<br />
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I'm actually not sure if, once baby brother is born, you will want to nurse again. I'm hoping you decided you are big enough and have no need for it. But my weak mother's heart would probably be not able to turn you down should you want to. Given certain conditions we have discussed.<br />
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Whatever happens then, just know that I am very proud of you. I know it was not easy for you and probably still not easy on you. But you took it well and handled a "denial of want" more maturely than most adults. ;)<br />
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I love you, Kuya Alon.<br />
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Nanaycross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-20579556796390188382014-10-23T14:22:00.002+08:002014-10-23T14:22:44.317+08:00Christmas in OctoberI don't usually think of Christmas much unless it's December already, but with my toddler, "Jingle Bells" "Pasko na Naman" and "Santa Claus is coming to town" have become standard lullabyes since last week. And I'm not feeling Grinchy about it. Haha!cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-3630905379417560952014-10-23T14:21:00.003+08:002014-10-23T14:21:55.594+08:00OuchDear little wiggler, if you want to get out, you don't kick till Nanay's tummy tears (as a chick would peck an egg until it breaks)... <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ouch?source=feed_text&story_id=10152801930791703"><span class="_58cl">#</span><span class="_58cm">ouch</span></a>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-88439181898568500662014-10-23T14:21:00.000+08:002014-10-23T14:21:02.947+08:00Comics<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Alon found his way through my indie comics stash. I couldn't count how many times I had to read "The Hunters" (written by a four-year old, illustrated by my favorite Kajo) last night. This morning, he was carrying "Bakemono High" (illustrated by my other favorite, Elbert Or) to the playground.<br />
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Do I fear for the pages of these comics (already crumpled and crinkled) or feel proud that we might just have a shared passion someday? Hehehe! I think the answer is clear.cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-51041747219937144082014-10-09T02:23:00.001+08:002014-10-23T17:36:57.609+08:00MovingGoing down 12 floors but it still feels like a big move!<br />
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I like keeping with tradition though. I don't necessarily believe them but it's one of those things where you have nothing to lose.</div>
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Before we entered the new unit to move some of our stuff, we put in a new broom, a loaf of wheat bread, a canister of brown rice, a jar of brown rice, a small container of salt, our current stock of canola oil, a comb, the Holy Family and Mother and Child statues.</div>
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Here's hoping for abundance of love and comfort. And a complete move by end of the week. :)<br />
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cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-83512451336777387902014-10-09T02:15:00.001+08:002014-10-23T17:37:10.390+08:00Good night, sleep tight#toddlersleepingpositions<br />
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cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-4699571390288308942014-10-09T02:13:00.001+08:002014-10-23T17:37:28.037+08:00Fun in a boxWe actually bought th storage box for your toys. It seems you found greater purpose for it than what we intended. It was literally hours of endless fun for you. :)<br />
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cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-5449968400242869822014-10-09T02:10:00.001+08:002014-10-09T02:10:23.439+08:00Weaning updateIt has been two weeks since you last nursed. I've been so very proud of you because even after two weeks you still look for it. You have been patient enough to wait and wait and wait despite wanting it. I'm not sure whether I should tell you "no" by the time your brother is born. Let's see once that happens. But do know that Nanay is very proud of you.<div><br></div><div>I love you, Kuya Alon!</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-58270292654358176202014-10-09T02:07:00.001+08:002014-10-09T02:07:15.351+08:00Blood moonOctober 8 was blood moon, Alon and Alab! That means there was a lunar eclipse. Kuya Alon, we tried to show you but you preferred to run around the puddles and stomp-stomp and eventually crawl on it. Ah well, that should be more fun for a two year old that staring at a sky with abarely visible moon. Nanay did witness it wax into a half moon before I decided to skip the rest of the phenomenon. Next time, we shall all try and witness it together. :)cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-77986647048158245472014-10-01T00:42:00.001+08:002014-10-01T00:42:07.685+08:00Coming soonLittle Wiggler, I'm getting breathless carrying you around, do you know that? My tummy has grown much larger than when I was carrying your Kuya. i had gestational diabetes then so I had to. Thankfully, I do not have it now. I can eat more that I did before. That was probably why my tummy got so big. And now, I have stretch marks. <div><br></div><div>Vanity is making me feel sad a out it. But then I know that what matters most is that you grow healthy inside of me. We have at least two weeks to go, but I'm gunning for at least three. Just thinking about moving like this for three weeks exhausts me though. Doesn't matter thoug, I'll survive each day. :)</div><div><br></div><div>As long as you keep swimming those laps inaide of me to let me know that you are a healthy, strong boy, I will be able to let go of vanities. :)</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-44085528696165070422014-10-01T00:35:00.001+08:002014-10-01T00:35:48.413+08:00Imagination<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I love how much you love our laundry basket. You called it a boat (singing Row, Row your boat)' the elevator (complete with pushing buttons to the ground floor), a car, your room (with pillows and a toy). It's almost or equal a box. #simplethings</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BopnyKr_fkc/VCrb4CLIkxI/AAAAAAAABx0/KYMgIFiZtco/s640/blogger-image-1925982237.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BopnyKr_fkc/VCrb4CLIkxI/AAAAAAAABx0/KYMgIFiZtco/s640/blogger-image-1925982237.jpg"></a></div><br></div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6956904426078685679.post-26132426748070779602014-10-01T00:29:00.001+08:002014-10-01T00:29:29.667+08:00Bahay KuboThere is such a thing as unconditional love from a child to a parent too. Alon likes having me sing "bahay Kubo" to him at random moments but particularly when going to sleep. My voice is awful. I'm tone deaf and can not carry a tune. Yet, he still wants me to sing it to him all the time. Haha!<div><br></div><div>This evening, I had a wonderful surprise when I arrived home. He was reciting the song! There were times I had to prompt him with syllables but he knows most of the song and the order of the veggies. It was such a proud moment!</div><div><br></div><div>Now I know why parents always boast of their kids. It can not be helped sometimes. You feel the sense of achievement of your child's progress. Yesterday they couldn't do it and then suddenly they just can. Amazing!</div><div><br></div><div>We still can't make him recite the alphabet or numbers but hey, who's rushing? :)</div>cross eyed bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03741088835150471535noreply@blogger.com0