Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira

"Love Letters to the Dead" gave me the same wistful feeling of sadness and hope, gravity and flight like "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" did.

 

I have long been looking at the display of the book whenever I pass by a bookstore. There is something in the title that intrigued me to no end. But having little space for books and less time for reading, I decide to skip getting it.

 

Yesterday, while waiting at the airport, I realized I had an ebook version. I finally decided to give it a go.

 

The first phrase was "Dear Kurt Cobain,"

 

That line already got me hooked. I knew it was going to be interesting.

 

It all started as an English assignment in which the lead character, Laurel, had to write letters to the dead. Laurel ends up writing to different famous dead people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Judy Garland, etc. as she deals with her personal tragedy and coming of age.



 

I could feel myself getting drawn into the story, into Laurel's loss and pain and hope and anger. I could feel my stomach churn as she started falling in love with Sky or my heart writhe as she held onto her memories of her dead sister, May. I wished for Kirsten and Tristan's ending to be different and yet know it is what it shall be. I wished for Natalie and Hannah to find their truth.

She wrote letters to dead people, mostly musicians. People who seemed brave, yet it ended up they were fragile and vulnerable as we are. Maybe more so. They were famous, yet they were alone and lost. At some point, they were so lost, they decided to totally let go.

I loved the book the way I loved "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and "Looking for Alaska." I love how it was about a bunch of lost people trying to find their way together. Maybe they'll end up taking the same road, maybe they will be taking different paths. What was important then was they had each other to take the journey with

It was that kind of book that after you closed it, you stare into space and try to gather and fathom as much of the feelings you had from reading it. You may have gone through something similar, you may have not. You are not them, but somehow, once upon a time or maybe right now you felt as they did.

You stare into space and you imagine holding the hearts of the characters and wish them well. You are doubtful they will have their happily ever after. You know better. But you hope that there will always be something for them to get them through the day. You look at them walking wounded (borrowing from EBTG), yet you know it is those very wounds and those very scars that made them beautiful.


I loved the book so much that I actually took the time to write how I feel about it!

Katy

Last Sunday, I was finally able to watch Katy at Meralco Theater by my lonesome.  I've been wanting to for years already but never really had the opportunity or time to do so.

It was awesome! The cast received a standing ovation at the end.  And from what I heard along the corridors, they were receiving standing ovations every night during their CCP run.  It was a good ensemble with Isay Alvarez leading the cast.

I would say that I was most moved by Tirso Cruz III's performance.  He played the role of Katy's strict but loving father.  His comic timing was on point, not something you would think would come easily to a known dramatic actor.  But his dramatic skill was also used well during Tatay's final scene with Tale, his pet name for Katy.  After he told Tale something like, "Hay naku, Tale, kahit gaano ka pa ka-gaga (?) tandaan mo na mahal na mahal kita." I laughed and then started getting teary-eyed.  I could feel Tatay's love for Tale.  The sudden softness of his usually-scolding voice, the gentle embrace of a despairing Tale.  The scene got blurry as my tears started to fall.  Beautiful, beautiful performance by Tirso. :)

There were a lot of other enjoyable scenes in the play.  What stuck with me the most though was the theater at the time of Japanese occupation.  There they were trying their best to fight a revolution on stage.  It was something I was always fascinated with, the theater as battle ground for ideology and conviction.   I was wondering if this was the inspiration for PETA (Philippine Educational Theater Association) during Martial Law. 

Based on this review from the run last January, the set was uninspired.  However, they may have done much improvement since then since the set felt more "organic" than what was being described in the review.  There were still some lull in some scenes but overall, it actually felt quite grand.

I also absolutely LOVED the live orchestra.  It has been a while since I've watched a play with live orchestra.  I don't even remember if Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah used live or canned music.  Rock of Ages definitely had canned music.  It was awesome to see the musicians in the background, somethings part of the scene, sometimes a musical shadow.

Every Filipino musical lover should make it a point to see Katy at least once. :)

Before Midnight

Jan and I took a few hours off from parenting duties and asked Tito Ninong to watch over Alon while we watched "Before Midnight."  

It was definitely worth it. :)

My generation fell-in-love and matured (?) with Jesse and Celine since 1995.  It began with that one night in Vienna after meeting on the train in Before Sunrise.  The movie ends with both agreeing to see each other at the same place six months after. The movie left viewers to guess (or hope) that they meet again.

Nine years after we find out that Jesse did go but Celine couldn't make it because her grandmother had died.  They see each other again, both a bit more broken and angry since their last encounter.  They have had relationships but neither happy.  The movie ends at Celine's apartment, with Jesse possibly missing his flight home.  Viewers can only guess if he did stay or leave.

It took another nine years for an answer.  He stayed. She got pregnant. They live together seemingly happy.

The "Before..." Trilogy (for now) is not a typical romance movie.  I'm not even sure if it is supposed to be a romance movie.  All they do is talk and talk and talk within one long shot.  They jump from one topic to another just flowing with their thoughts and ideas.  And while most talkies would bore audiences to death, these movies have got me riveted, paying full attention to what they are saying and not saying, eager to know what's on their minds.

While watching Before Midnight, I was laughing and slapping Jan during so many scenes, scenes that was just so close to home.  At the end, I was teary-eyed.

After a while, I realized that there was really nothing special about Jesse and Celine.  Other than their one night in Vienna, they are just as mundane and as ordinary as any couple.  And that is probably why I love the movies very much.  That their relationship centers so much on conversation.  It is not about a magical moment or grand events like what most rom-coms would like to portray.  It is about how they can just carry on talking and thinking together and talking some more.  It does not mean they necessarily understand each other or communicate well.  But they just communicate somehow.

Jesse and Celine are Jan and I.  Or some other couples I know.  Take a snippet of our lives, those times that we talk, imagine it on film, and voila.  We have our own Before Sunrise or Sunset or Midnight.

I love Before Midnight the most.  It ends open again.  And again,looking at our  own lives, it is open-eded because our stories do not really end.  We just keep on adding chapters.  That "yes" to our partners during a proposal does not mean a yes to him/her forever.  We constantly work for our yeses.  Our yes today would be different from our yes tomorrow.  But life and love will always ask that question every day, other days more urgent than others, "do you still choose him/her?"  And every day we have to answer, one way or the other.  We have to answer despite our insecurities and fears.  Whatever the circumstance.

Today I say yes.

The Last Planner You'll Ever Have

Last year, I had the "Relax Lang, Puso Lang Yan, Malayo sa Bituka" Planner.  It was quite a fun planner to have, with reminders about heart breaks, courting and what have you scattered all over it's pages.  There were also reminders on when certain movies showed or which couple married or broke up on certain dates.  I usually don't finish a planner, but this one I was able to fill up well enough.

I was waiting for their 2012 version but unfortunately Witty Will Save the World, Co. was not able to produce anything this year.  I thought I would have to settle for a Starbucks planner. Not.  I did try for it though.  I was able to get four stickers. I gave it away for someone else to use instead.  I won't be able to drink coffee anyway.

I thought of getting an Avante Garde planner, which looked really chic and classy.  Something I am not but it was a pretty planner, and sometimes I like pretty.  We actually had one reserved already.  But then, my brother gave me this cool planner instead.

The Last Planner You'll Ever Have 2012 Planner.  I think most of us heard the "news"  that 2012 is the end of the world, according to the Mayan calendar.  So in case the advanced civilization of the Mayans were correct, then this planner wants to help its user be prepared for the eventual end of the world.

In the list of dates and holidays to remember, December 21 is included.

Thus Christmas and Rizal Day happening has yet to be confirmed.

The planner includes pages for your bucket list, a last will testament, "to-do" and "not to-do" list (R-18 version).  There is also a end of the world survival kit as well as tips for a time capsule.  In case people survive armageddon.

My 2011 planner was funnier, but this planner has its moments.  It's an ingenious concept for a planner.  The paper and spacing for the dates aren't that bad either.  It feels more sturdy than the "Relax Lang..." datebook which fell apart middle of the year.

Never again, Starbucks or whatever coffee shop out there makes planners.  I like my planners funny!