Random ramblings about boys

When I was younger, I told myself that I would never allow a boy to hold me down. It was actually the movie "Kramer vs. Kramer" that led me to that resolve. I didn't want to be Meryl Streep leaving her family because she did not know who she is.  

While I was single I made the most of what I had and to do as much as I could with my NGO salary. I had lots of fun with good friends who were the perfect travel buddies and gimik partners. 

Then I met someone the moment I stopped looking. Things changed a bit but I was lucky enough to be with a man who had the courage and security to let me fly, whether with him or on my own. Eventually, I married that man on a Friday the 13th in 2008. A couple of months after I flew to Netherlands to pursue my masters. Nope, that boy did not tie me down and even wished me a wonderful time, which I did have.

The fates, however, like to play tricks. Now, they made me eat the words I told myself many moons ago. I can't believe that a couple of boys tied me down! One aged 2.5 years and another 2.5 months. 

The Pope Francis fever is ongoing in the Philippines. Two and a half years ago, I would have chosen to brave the crowd and the rains just to see the Pope. Twenty years ago, I was a scraggly 16year old who carried 24 cans of Coke in her backpack and walked from the Vito cruz LRT station to the Grandstand with that load by herself with no posse to go with, just to attend Pope John Paul's Mass. I did meet up with a friend after (who had his other friends who consumed most of my Coke!) and we eventually got lucky to bump into the Ateneo contingent. Luckier still that as we were trying to meet with the Ateneo contingent, it was the Pope's convoy that we first bumped into! Oh, the joy of that surprise encounter. :)

I will not have any surprise encounter right now with a Pope I adore and admire greatly despite the fact that the Nunciature is probably 3-4KM away from where we live. I have been tied down by those two, in particular, the smallest of the bunch. 

I'm missing out a bit, I know. But the Pope himself has consoled me during the meeting with the families as well as his homily in Tacloban when he made mention of the Mother. That is my role now, one I have embraced fully and sometimes obsessively. 

FOMO - fear of missing out. I have missed out a lot with Pope Francis in terms of having a personal encounter. But I have several TV networks to provide me consistent updates. And seeing him, even through a small screen, is already enriching and spiritually nourishing. But there is no camera to follow my boys around and I am definitely their number one devotee. I am the one they call "mother."  When Alon wakes up, he calls for me first. When Alab wakes up and I greet him, he has this sweetest smile that assures me he is happy to see me.

I will not be able to say I was there waiting for the Pope to pass by or to listen to him say Mass personally. But I can say that I put to sleep a two and a half year old to sleep by chanting "Viva Il Papa, Papa Fracesco." Neither boy will remember what I chose to give up during these five days but I will. (And I will remind them every time they are naughty! Hehe!)

Ohana means family

Family is love. :)

These are the days I am amazed at how much love a person is capable of. Love is not divided, it is multiplied. #overwhelmed

Kuya Alon

It has been a blessing that Alon is receiving his brother well. I have been nervous the entire time I wasconceiving  Alab about how well his Kuya would take to him.

I could not have been any happier seeing his reaction when he first saw Alab. He had this very big smile on his face, pointed to Alab and said, "baby brother" in a giggly voice. He wanted to touch him so I guided his hand to be gentle.

There have been moments when I can sense jealousy. Mainly when it was about breastfeeding. He does know that Alab takes priority but he threw a terrible tantrum when we had to stop his own feeding for Alab. After that episode, I learned to prompt him about new nursing rules. It's still a challenge but Alon has been quite receptive of the conditions.

We also had reading together moments, the three of us. He'd also always talk about Alab, about what his little brother is doing. I am so grateful for this. It's only been five days but I do appreciate this good start. My prayers now include that they be friends. I keep imagining the "kalokihan" they might brew up as they grow... Half of me hopes for Gred and Feorge level, half of me hopes they'd be all-behaved. Haha! Basta. Sana resbak nila ang isa't-isa. Hehe!

Labs, Happy Birthday!

Uy. 13 X 3 ka na! Di naman halatang Tandercats ka na. Pasalamat ka na bebeh-face ka kahit na mas dumadami na puti kesa itim mong buhok. Keribels lang yan. Richard Gere or George Clooney lang ang peg (parehong di ko type).

 

Sabi nila, pag tumatagal ang pagsasama, nagigising daw sa katotohanan. Halos nine years na tayo. Pero baligtad ata. Nabubulag na ako. Pogi ka pala? Alam mo naman, kahit nuong bago pa lang tayo, di na kita type. Oo, mahal kita, pero di kita type. Maputi ka, type ko maitim. Muscular ka, type ko patpatin. Balbon ka, type ko balat pwet ng baby. 

Buti na lang, mabait ka. Tsaka nagsalita ka na nung tumugtog si Bong Gabriel sa computer ko nung nasa Davao tayo. Kasi sa totoo lang, di ko napapansin na nasa kwarto ka. So quiet naman you, kasi.

 

 

Tapos buti na lang binanggit mo ang magic words na "Neil Gaiman"... Hala! Di man kita type, feel ko naman ang trip mo. Biro mo ba naman umagahin tayo ng kwentuhan sa Korokkan videoke dahil kay Neil at pati na rin sa X-Men. Nahuli mo uli ang aking pansin nung kilala mo ang "Reavers" story line. Ayus!

So dun na nagsimula ang lahat. Kala ko naman, trip trip lang. Malay ko bang dadaanin mo ako sa santong paspasan? Never saw that in you. Haha! Aggressive ka din pala pag gusto mo na makuha ang sagot. Kung sabagay, di pwede ang lalamya-lamya sa basketball player.

By the way, huwag mo na uulitin yung hairstyle sa taas ha? Lalo pa't ang tipid mo gumamit ng pang-ahit.

So yun, three years tayong mag-uyab at hello, hello! Six years na pala tayong kasal. Bongga! Minsan parang kailan lang, minsan parang yun na lang ang alam ko na life experience. Tama nga si Einstein na time is relative. Depende kung san ka nakatingin, iba din takbo ng oras. Ayus.

Di ko alam kung kasingkulit pa rin tayo ng dati. Buti na lang di talaga tayo sweet-sweet-an. At least di ko masasabing, "nagbago ka na!" Kasi ganun ka pa din. Haha!  Pero actually, naso-sorpresa mo na rin ako sa iyong mga Mother's Day flowers and birthday flowers. Mabuti na lang mura lang yung flower shop malapit sa office. :P

Masasabi ko lang, kelangan natin magdagdag ng couple pics. Mahihirapan mga anak natin maghanda ng special video sa ating 20th/25th anniversary. Bilang ina, ayaw ko silang mahirapan. Lezdodis!

Pero kahit di mo halata minsan. O halata mo, pero di mo lang pinahahalata na halata mo kasi alam mong ayaw ko pahalata... Alam ko na swerte ako bilang partner-in-life mo. Kahit obsessed ka masyado sa tables at furnitures, swerte pa din ako. Kahit na masungit ako (hirap ng middle-class in Manila e) pa-minsan-minsan (minsan lang ba?)...

Swerte ako dahil inaalagaan mo ako. Aba e, ilang lalaki ba dyan ang magtitiyaga mamalengke/grocery, maglaba ng ahem at kung anu-ano pa? Dahil ginagawa mo yun, mas naalagaan ko ng mabuti ang ating Alon (at Alab).

Swerte din mga anak mo. Sa picture pa lang sa taas, handa ka na ma-Hop on Pop para lang mapahagikgik sila. Minsan naloloka ako kasi nasa computer at TV ka habang nasa hapag-kainin (ang gadget-free meal times ko!!!), napagsasabihan ka naman. Panganay ka, kelangan mowdel. Hehe! Pero yun, swerte sila dahil hands-on ka, from nappy change to bath time to read time.  Kita mo naman ang tuwa ni Alon pag umuuwi ka.

At happy din ako, dahil alam ko na magiging active ang ating mga anak. Isama na sa basketball sa kanto, football sa park, gym sa YMCA. Bahala ka na. Alam mo naman may tamaditis ako pagdating sa exercise.

At alam kong lalaking matino sa partners ang mga boys natin kasi makikita nila kung gano mo ako ka-lab. Hehe! Mataas kaya standards ko kasi Tatay ko ay lab na lab ang Nanay ko. So I really couldn't settle for any thing less. Naks.

Maligayang bati, Labs! Tingnan mo naman ang peetyur na yan sa taas. Kagigising pa lang ni Alon. Hehe! Nasa tiyan pa si Alab. Pero yan... sana patuloy nating trabahuin na maging masaya at payapa ating munting pamilya. Yun naman din ang tunay na nagtali sa atin, di ba? Ang pagpapahalaga sa pamilya... na ito ang importante sa lahat. :)

Malayo pa ang ating lalakbayin, pero naniniwala ako na magkasama tayo all the way. Holding hands pa. You, me, Alon and Alab. Mwaaaaaaah! Happy batatay, kung kay Alon pa. :)

Good night, sleep tight

#toddlersleepingpositions

You're two!

Nanay has been anticipating your birthday for months.  We weren't going to have a party but Nanay was just both excited and nostalgic. For a week, Nanay has been telling you about your coming birthday.  You would smile and say, "Abby?" or "Vince?"  Theirs was the last birthday party you attended so that is why you probably thought it was theirs we were going to celebrate.

I told you that that it was YOUR birthday and you were to turn two.  It was probably a day or two before your birthday that when I broached the topic and said "Birthday na ni Alon sa Friday!"  This time you answered, "Jollibee?"  You answered the same thing the next day.  I'm not a big fan of fast food for you (though we often eat McDonald's pancakes on weekends, to be honest) but since it was your birthday, I decided that we should indulge you with your request.

But that is getting ahead of how we spent your day.  So let me start properly.

When you woke up, Nanay told you it was your birthday.  You had a big smile on your face and said, "Jollibee?" I agreed that we will eat at Jollibee for lunch. But there were things to do first!

I ordered a beautiful cake from Tita Vannie who makes Adele and Vita cakes. She was on her way to deliver it so we had to meet her downstairs. I gave you a glimpse of your cake when we got it.  You just had a peek of a dinosaur's head and you already had this big smile. That already made it worth it, for both Nanay and Tita Vannie. Then I showed you the cupcakes with dinosaur toppings and your smile got bigger.  Nanay and Tatay are already happy on your birthday seeing how you liked your cake!

We went back up to our room. We got a cupcake and put a candle on it. This time, Nanay was ready and already set aside a box of matches to light your candle.  You were excited to see the candle. I taught you how to blow it and you were able to. Yehey! After that, you ate the dino toppers which you liked. We split the cupcake in three but you only took a small bite. I ate the rest of your share. It was soooo good! Nanay wanted to eat more but had to stop herself because we had to share it with others who were going to visit you.

After we had our cupcake, we changed into our swimsuits and spent the morning at the pool. We also spent the morning swimming during your birthday last year. This time, Nanay asked Tatay to take a leave from work and just spend the day with us. So swimming was more fun with Tatay around.

I'm trying to remember if you took a nap or not after the swim but my nagging feeling is you didn't. We went to Jollibee for lunch to meet Ninong Roy who would not be able to join us with your dinner celebration. We ordered a bucket of chicken for the adults plus spaghetti and fries for you. You had a good helping of spaghetti, eating almost half of it. It was the fries that you liked more, though, shoving piece after piece inside your mouth.

After we were all done with our meal, Nanay took out three pieces of cupcake she brought from home. I put one candle each on two cupcakes but you insisted that the third one should have its own candle too. As you are the celebrant, your wish was our command. We lighted all three candles and you blew all of them one by one. You really liked blowing candles! Again, it was the toppers you wanted to eat though you did have a bit of the cupcake.

When we went back home, you finally took a nap. This was also a chance for Nanay and Tatay to rest a bit. By 5:30PM, Lolo and Lola picked us up so we can have dinner. We decided to eat at TGIFriday's because Lola had a discount card.  Ate Nonay came all the way from school to celebrate your day with you.

I don't think you enjoyed the food as much as Jollibee. You did have some fries. I guess, this was more for the adults than for you. The best part of the night was the cake reveal though. Once Nanay opened the box, your face just lit up seeing the three dinosaurs on top of your cake. We finished the rest of the cupcakes with everybody getting their share, including Tito Arvin and Tita Eva who couldn't make it. Everybody enjoyed the cupcakes. Yey! This made Nanay happy. We're getting cupcakes from Tita Vannie again. Hehehe!

The staff of TGIF surprised you with a song and an ice cream/coffee dessert. You were indeed surprised. You were just looking at them while they were singing. It took you a while to recover. You only started appreciating the singing when they sang for someone else already.

It was a happy day for Nanay, celebrating your second birthday. Happy because you were also happy. We did not have a grand birthday celebration like your first, but we had our family together and that is what made it meaningful.

Oh, my two year old toddler! I can't wait to see the tricks that you learn as you grow older. It's been two months since then and boy have you picked up a lot already. Let's see what three will be like. For now, we enjoy you being two. :)

Anxiety of a second time Mom

I've got seven to eight weeks to go before I pop. It is quite interesting to note that I am more anxious now than I was with the first.  Maybe because we were already four years married when Alon came.  It felt the right time to have our first child.  Our coming soon was a surprise... unplanned and unexpected but definitely not unwelcome.

It has only been a little over two years ago but I'm acting like I was not pregnant before. I wonder if the hardening of my stomach is normal (yes, it is) or why I am always breathless (again, normal, but something I did not experience much with the first).  I'm trying to remember if I should bathe the newborn twice a day or once is enough. There are a lot of things about taking care of a newborn that I feel clueless about again.  We still have not started getting things the little one may need and I intend to cram every thing on my eighth month.  Small things that I paid extra attention to before, I have not been able to do now.

The main reason is I do have a toddler who is quite demanding of my attention now. As a working mother, I utilize my time at home playing and caring for my panganay. I could hardly do anything else until he is fast asleep. This may be part of my anxiety, I think. I sometimes worry if I prepared Alon enough for the arrival of a new person who will be as demanding as he is. I've bought books about new babies. I showed him his baby photos. I talk to him every night. I ask him to talk to my tummy.  Still, I know that when the baby is there, things will take its own shape.

I am also concerned if I have enough in me to care for two human beings? Three, counting the hubby. Hehe! I'm already exhausted just taking care of one toddler.  How will I fare once you throw in a newborn in the mix? I don't want either child feeling neglected by Nanay.  Right now, I'm trying to relegate more to Jan and the yaya but Alon seems to want me more than ever.  It might be he is sensing something big is coming and making the most of it.

I pray constantly that these two brothers would be friends, that they will care for each other.  I pray for guidance that we can foster that love between them. 

There is also my concern about finances.  Kids cost.  I've been lucky that I could sustain breastfeeding and that we use cloth nappies more than disposables.  These alone has helped manage extra expenses that come with having a child.  Right now, I'm uncertain how much further we can stretch our limited budget. We will need to move a bigger place, save up for hospital expenses (this is not where my taxes go, for sure), hire an additional yaya, and other small things he will need that eventually accumulates.

I do remind myself that finances should be the least of my worries because it will be the easiest to deal with. Jan and I are blessed with jobs.  So yes, while we have to stretch our financial capacities, we will not starve.  There will be a roof over our head, food on our plates and love in our hearts.  In other words, we will survive. We will even be happy. :)

I just have to remind myself to keep faith. In God, with Jan, with our kids, with people who love us.  All shall be well. :)

Nanay and two boys

29 weeks with the little bro. 

Apparently not

End of my first breastfeeding journey?

It's breastfeeding week/month and it is somewhat ironic that this might also the end of breastfeeding Alon.  See, I'm away for five nights.  As he is already two years old and we have another one coming soon, I decided not to bring a pump so this might mean no more milk production when I return.

From Baby Blues comic strip

Other breastfeeding-related Baby Blues strip

The feeling is bittersweet.  I enjoyed nursing my son all throughout and if we weren't having another soon, I'm really not that much in a hurry to stop if he decides he still wants to nurse (some kids decide to wean themselves).  I could see the benefits of breastfeeding as he is less prone to getting sick compared to his playmates, his skin is baby smooth, he is lean but full of energy.  On the practical side of things, we saved from not needing to buy formula for two years.  Now that he is drinking fresh milk, our expenditures for his milk consumption is only a quarter of what it would cost if he drank formula.

As a working mom who occasionally travels for long periods (nine days was the longest), it did not come cheap either.  I bought lactation cookies to ensure my milk supply, breastmilk bags to store my milk, ice gel packs and fridge-to-go bags to keep the milk cool while in transit.  I lugged around a two kilo pump in addition to other stuff I had to bring with me.  That was a strain on my back.  Airport security always made me nervous due to the carrying of liquid policies.  There was a time I carried SEVEN KILOS of breastmilk from Geneva, Switzerland!

Alon was more than 18 months when he finally decided to drink fresh milk.  It was such a relief! I stopped pumping at work after that.  I only pumped when I was traveling to keep the milk supply going.  He only nursed at night time or during the day time if we are together.  After we got back from Ireland, I gradually weaned him by limiting his nursing before going to sleep and waking up.  No more in the middle of the night nursing.  Before I left, we were down to sleep time nursing.

It was a challenge though (and might still be when I return).  Sometimes I'd ask him to stop in the middle of nursing if I feel something in my belly (possibly contractions).  He'd cry and say, "last na. konti na lang. please." with sleepy pleading eyes. I'd have to explain that it's hurting Nanay and would have to hug and comfort him until he sleeps.  I'm certain that it's more of a ritual than a need but sometimes it is hard for a parent to deny a totally reasonable request from your child.

I'm not sure how things will play out when I get back home.  I'm hoping he will just be cavalier about it or has totally forgotten that he usually nurses to sleep.  If it is truly the end, I would feel a bit of relief but I'd also feel a bit of nostalgia.  It would be an end of an era... but one that is bound to begin again in three months.

Breastfeeding is not easy.  It takes a lot of work and a lot of commitment.  It can be painful (I don't remember it being so for me...) and it can be stressful (catching up with the amount of milk your child consumes during the day while you are away) and time-consuming.  I would therefore say that it is one of my greatest achievements as a woman and as a mother.

It has been a wonderful, personal journey with Alon.  I will to do the same with our Little Wiggler.

Tatay :)

You are a champion:

• nappy changer (very important for Nanay. Nanay for input, Tatay for output.)
• potty trainor (see previous)
• storyteller
• playmate
• and many many other things
• primarily, Champion Tatay it is.

Happy Father's Day.

Dear Alon: Why Nanay is away

Dear Alon,

It's been six days since I left home for Zamboanga.  You see, Zamboanga had a crisis last September which displaced so many people.  Nanay's office are helping out the evacuees to ease their difficulties a bit.  Nanay herself does not directly deal with the displaced peoples but does her best to help those who do.  So while Nanay does not want to be away from you for too long, I also have to be brave and face my discomfort of not being with you to do my best to take part in the greater scheme of things.

This morning, I visited the tent-clinic we support to see how things are going.  It broke my heart to see the patients in line.  Most of them were parents carrying their children.  Children as old as you, some older, some much, much younger (newborns).  I was talking to one of the nurses when I saw one mother breastfeeding her one month old baby.  I was happy to see the mommy was breastfeeding her child because the conditions they were in was not conducive for safe bottle feeding (limited clean water, costly milk, etc.).  But I was sad to hear the baby had a fever for quite some time already.  Nanay does not like seeing children suffer like that, Anak.  It hurt to see them like that.  It hurt worse not to know how long they will remain in that situation.

Today, we saw on the news the terrible devastation brought about by what scientists claim as the worst typhoon/storm in recorded history (of the world, not just the country).  Concrete houses were battered like they were cardboard, Anak.  Trees fell, villages battered and hundreds of thousands of people were affected.  Some of the areas hit were even those just recently hit by the big earthquake.  I am imagining that people will be living in the same conditions as the people in Zamboanga.  Nanay is close to tears just thinking of how hard it will be for children like you. Sigh.

So why am I telling you this, Alon dearest?

Because I want you to learn a few things.

1. Be thankful for things you might take for granted.  No matter how small our studio is, you have a roof over your head, food on your plate, clothes to wear, books to read and toys to play with.  You have parents who love you, grandparents and relatives who dote on you and a yaya who takes good care of you.  Whenever you keep wanting something that you don't really need (and we may possibly not give you), remember what the important things in life are -- food, shelter, education, love and laughter.  You have all those things.

2.  After you thank God for your blessings, give back.  Give back either through money, action or advocacy.  You can even do two or three together.  Some meople will have more than you but there are more people who have less than you.  We just have enough, Anak.  Remember, though, that there is still always something to give.  If you do not have things or money, you will have your time or service.  There are many ways to share, you'll find something that you will be comfortable sharing.

I was talking to one DOH doctor the last time I was here.  He knew of some doctors who were getting tired of the work.  He told them, "be thankful that you are the one serving that the one being served."  Learn from that, Anak.  It's a simple statement but one that is rich in meaning.  Someday, you will understand what that doctor meant.  If only more people think that way, the world might be a better place.

I love you, Alon.  I hope Tatay and I will raise you well.

Always, Nanay

Community feeding

It really does take a village to raise a child, or in my case, breastfeed my son.

I only had a week to work at increasing my stock of breastmilk for Alon before I departed for a short eight day mission to Zamboanga (short because most of my colleagues have been here for three weeks).  I was only able to stock four days worth of milk which was my main concern when I left for the field.

I did buy several kinds of milk and milk substitutes like Dutch Mill, Chamyto, fresh milk, soya milk and chocolate milk.  According to Jan, he seems to like Chamyto but only in small doses.  All the other milk, he would refuse to take.

We were lucky to have a kind neighbor who was also breastfeeding her seven month old girl and was stay at home so did not really need her expressed milk.  Our yaya was able to solicit her extra milk for Alon so we were able to extend his stock to six days.  She was gone for the weekend though, so I was in a bit of dilemma.

A colleague was actually willing to transport the milk when he would depart Thursday but the rains cancelled the flights in Zambo so they had to travel all the way to Pagadian to take a flight to Manila.  That plan had to be scrapped.

I was able to convince another colleague flying back to Manila on Saturday to be Alon's milk man.  I was so happy when he said yes.  There were initial concerns that the flight might not push through since it was raining again this morning and Manila was also experiencing its own showers.  But God was good and Jan managed to get the milk from him at the airport.

Alon has enough milk again to last him until I return on Monday. Yey!  Yey to the fact that my son will still be fed and Yey to the fact that Monday is coming soon. :)

New words, new words!

Since Thursday, Alon learned a few more words.

"bak" - bike
"kay" - sakay (ride)

of which he used together.  His first sentence was, "bak, kay."  Mommy jaw drop moment there.

"wa-aw" - wow

"buhk" - book

"lohloh" - lolo.  We're trying to teach him "lola" because Lola = Santa Claus. No such luck yet.

I left for Zamboanga, and tonight's phone call revealed that he has two new words again.

"eh-yo" - hello
"leeh-goh" - ligo  (bath)

What a chatty kid we have!

While we were on the phone, I quoted an excerpt from his book. "Click-clack-moo, click-clack-moo, clickety-clack-moo."  Jan said Alon got the book and handed it to him.  Another mommy jaw drop moment. :)

And he stacks!

Well, not in this photo. :P

I have been trying to teach Alon to stack since he was ten months old. He preferred to bang the rings together and throw them about like any typical baby.  Most of the time, I just went along going with his pace since the most important thing is he's having fun. :)

Last September 1, three days shy of his fourteenth month, he finally got it! I was just so proud. :). Every time he'd stack a ring, he'll clap for himself.  I join the applause as well.  Of course, he still finds it more fun to bang and throw but he finally got the concept of stacking rings. Basically for him, stack 'em so he can tumble 'em. Wheeee!

Next goal, shape sorter and stacking cups. :)

Hey, Dad. It's 13 years after.

Hey Dad.

It has been thirteen years since you left us for something better.  I have long admitted to myself that somehow it was best that way.  You have been in too much physical pain and it was too much for everybody seeing you suffer, especially Mom.  We all knew you had come to terms with your mortality.  You even often thanked God for blessing you with the opportunity to share Jesus' pain of the cross.  That's the kind of bad ass crazy Christian you are.  

It has been thirteen years and yet we still miss you a lot.  I certainly do.  There were quite a few life events that I wish you were part of.  I met this nice guy who I eventually married.  We were surrounded by wonderful friends and family during our wedding day.  Your physical presence was missing but I knew you were there with Kuya and Mommy while they were giving me away.

I would have wanted to hear your wedding speech though.  You've always had a way with words, raw and honest and full emotions.  I would even bet that you would cry during the speech, which would probably have me in tears too.  And we would have a father and daughter dance which would start with the waltz but would end with the cha-cha, your favorite dance.

And  you have an apo with me na.  When he was a new born, he reminded me so much of you.  People often call him a Mini-Roy which just affirms he's a mini-Pen. 

Alon is growing up well.  I hope he takes after you in most things.  I pray that he grows up with your intelligence, your kindness and your humor. But I do hope he won't be a couch potato like you though!  

Daddy dearest, thank you for being the man, the husband, the father that you were.  Your love for Mommy showed me what love was like.  Seeing your love for Mom, it was what I looked for in a man.  I could not settle for anything less.

Like I said before, I now understand your little poster, "The best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother."  A father like that teaches his son the proper way to treat and love a woman.  A father like that teaches his daughter how she should be treated and loved.  Loving Mommy was definitely a priceless gift you gave to your children.

I know you have been watching over us all these years, Daddy.  We all miss you a lot.  At least I know that other than his guardian angel, another awesome Serafin is watching over Alon.

I love you, Daddy Pen. :)

Happy Thursday Birthday! :)

Your first birthday fell on a Thursday, Dear Alon, so Nanay and Tatay took a leave so we can celebrate this wonderful day.  What made Nanay more happy was Lola Mommy El flew all the way from Davao to spend time with us too!  Lola Francie also took a day off to be with you.  See how special you are, my little wave!

In the morning, your Yaya Jheana and I brought you downstairs to the pool to swim. Tatay could not join us because he had to do some stuff for work.

Since it was a weekday, we had the pool all to ourselves.  Wheeeee!  

After our dip, you took a short nap.  You seem to know that something special was going on since you woke up with just in time for us to go to Church and pray for thanksgiving on your day.  During Mass, you would not stay still.  Well, you have not been able to stay still lately, to be honest.  So Tatay, Nanay and Yaya Jheana had to alternate in bringing you outside so we don't bother other people praying.

You were fascinated by the birds hopping on the grass and the fish swimming in the pond.  You were able to see turtles for the first time.  I was not sure if you liked them but you did point to them a lot.  We tried having you sit on the carabao sculptures around the chapel but it was not something you were interested in.

Lunch was a challenge.  It seemed that even if it was already one in the afternoon, people were still enjoying their meal.  We wanted to eat at Cibo since it will have pasta but it was too croweded.  We ended up eating at a Shabu-Shabu place which Tatay suggested because he remembered that I've wanted to eat shabu-shabu for a long time.

Nanay and Alon waiting for the food to come

Tatay entertaining Alon while waiting for the food.  Not sure if he is succeeding. :P

The shabu-shabu lunch was not a good idea after all.  No one really knew how to prepare the food.  Well, Nanay did, but I was too busy paying attention to you.  I was also a bit worried that your last solid meal was 7:30 in the morning and it was already almost two in the afternoon so I gave you a bit of lengua to gato to snack on.  I think that was the reason you refused to eat the noodles and rice and meet lunch I prepared.  This actually stressed me out because I wanted you to have a hearty meal on your birthday!  Tatay could see that Nanay was losing her "it's-Alon's-birthday-glow" from the stress of your non-interest in food and my hunger, so he took a break from his meal and took you for a walk outside the restaurant.

Lola Francie and Mommy Elma doting on the birthday boy.

The suave and charming celebrant

After the somewhat disappointing lunch, your Lola Francie brought us to Market! Market! so I can buy additional game prizes for your birthday celebration.  Your Tita Ina was right about this store that had lots and lots and lots of goodies to choose from.  While not as cheap as Divisoria,it  was definitely sufficient and cheap enough for what we needed to get.  We then went home after our shopping trip.

Since your Tito Ninong Roy was not able to celebrate with you, we decided to have a part two of your birthday day.  I asked that Ninong get you Pancake House spaghetti.  We ordered pizza from Calda Pizza nearby and Tatay bought Purple Oven Apple Crumble Pie.

The Resurreccions

The Caminas

Finally, you had the meal that Nanay wanted you to have.  You ate two-thirds of the spaghetti!  This made Nanay happy, that the celebrant partook of the feast and not just the guests.

After you had your meal and we had our pizza, it was finally time to blow your cake.  There were some hiccups looking for the candles that we bought a few months back as well as looking for a lighter for the candle.  I actually went all the way to the smoking area to find a smoker.  I did find one and asked her to light one of the candles I was holding.  My trouble was for naught because Tatay was finally able to find a guard with a lighter.  But see, Nanay is willing to go through all sorts of challenges to make things special for you.

We sang you a short birthday song.  You were fascinated with the candle and still did not know what to do with it except stare.  Tatay blew your candle for you because the wax was ready to drip on the pie.  That pie was really good! You got to taste the apple inside but I guess you were too full to ask for more bites.

Wheeee! Happy first birthday, Alon!

It was a simple celebration spent with family.  And family is definitely one of the most important things you should learn about and embrace in life, my dear Alon.  They will love you and care for you even if it is not your birthday. :)

Happy, happy birthday, dear Alon!  While you may not remember much of that day, I will.  And at least Nanay knows we celebrated it with love and fun. :)

You're OYO, Alon!

I know this is unforgivably late, my dearest Alon, since it has been 11 days since you turned one year old (OYO)!  But I do have my valid reasons.

1) Tatay and Nanay were planning your party.  Planning a party is a production number!  Thank God, you have wonderful Titos and Titas who helped us out (a blog post for another time) to ease the work a bit.
2) Your Yaya Jheana went home for over a week to celebrate her own little one's birthday so Nanay and Tatay had to alternate in caring for you during that period.  And a OYO Alon is quite a handful. ;P
3) Much as I would like to chronicle your every little milestone, I still prefer to experience them with you.  :)

Mr. Born on the fourth of July!  What a year it has been for you and for us.  How your little presence changed our worlds and our lifestyles.

You can read about the excitement the day Nanay gave birth to you as well as some snippets of your first six months in a previous blog entry.  The next six months definitely got more exciting and more interesting for all of us.

FEEDING
You started eating solid food and loved your kalabasa and avocado and sweet potato.  I was actually a bit concerned because you gained little weight between six months and nine months.  Your Ninang actually suggested I supplement you with formula but I resisted this advice and instead increased your solid food intake.  Nanay is a firm believer in the powers of breastmilk and since I had a substantial supply, I saw no need to fatten you up with formula.  Our latest pedia visit showed your weight was still in the lower percentile but your Lola Mommy Elma told me that your Ninong Roy (of whom you are a Mini-Me of) was also a small baby so I was not worried (look at him now!).  Your height was in the 50th percentile so that makes me feel better.  It's easier to resolve weight issues than height issues. Most Filipinos would know that. :P 
I see you healthy and frisky and constantly on the move, so I'm certain you are doing fine and it's just genetics that make you seem small.

Alon at six months old.

I'm starting to think that babies are programmed to like spaghetti because that is your favorite food.  We started with just feeding you with noodles when you turned nine months.  And there was no going back for you.  You really eat the most when we feed you spaghetti or noodles.  What fascinated me with the food that you like was mashed potato and sardines mix.  You actually like it.  And this is mild hot bottled sardine ha!  I'm happy with that too.  I got a taste of it, since I usually eat your left overs, and it is Yum. :)  Your ultimate favorite though are your apple-banana-carrot frozen cubes.  You have it every day!  If you don't like the food I feed you, I usually resort to this.  It may not be as filling as other foods, but it assures me you get vitamin c, potassium and beta-carotene. Good job, son. :)

Alon at seven months!

You have funny eating habits too.  You would put your feet up if there is no tray on your high chair.  You would slouch on the seat.  I'll put you upright and after a while, you will be slouched again.  I don't really fuss too much about it as long as you are eating properly.  Right now, when I feed you something, you would spit it out and feed it to your self.  I think this is a sign that you would like independent feeding.  However, when I put a bowl of food in front of you, you tend to play with it instead.  So as compromise, I would give you a piece of bread to hold and feed yourself with and I feed you your meal.  We are both happy. :)

One thing is for sure with every meal, it is one big mess.  Your food tray is like a war zone... or a painting, if we be hippie about it. :P

Alon at eight months!

MOTOR SKILLS
Even when you were a new born, you were already trying to always hold your head up or try to stand up.  Not even a month into the world!  And true enough, you started being mobile early on.  By six months, you could stand up with support.  Sometimes we'd see if you'd try walking, which you did before you were seven months, except it was backwards on your tippy toes.  That surely gave your Lola Francie a laugh.

By nine months, you'd be always propping yourself up while holding on to the headboard of the bed and peek at the stickers on our wall.  By ten months, you could walk a bit with support.  Then the bit became a lot.  By eleven months, you could walk four to six steps unsupported.  The most exciting thing was you started walking unsupported for longer periods before you turned one!  Then you'd fall on your butt then you'd stand up again and walk some more.  You succeeded the most when there was a ball or toy car to run after.  You've bumped your head a couple of times, for sure. You'd cry a bit but I would tell you that it's fine. Then you'd realize, you ARE fine and move on. I try not to show my worry, but I am.  Nanay has to be brave though, so you will be brave too.  Your first steps are key to your future journeys and adventures and I hope I will never stop you from taking any.  Let's cross our fingers with that, Anak. :)

Now that you are mobile, Nanay and Tatay are getting a lot of exercise running around after you.  My back has been hurting from bending over or squatting to your height.  Sometimes I wonder if life would be a little easier with you not walking yet.  But I shove that aside immediately because mobility is a gift and that gives you lead time to explore.  So yeah, I'm glad for you. :)

Alon at nine months

PERSONALITY
Every night, I thank God, that He has blessed Nanay and Tatay with a generally happy child.  You are definitely sumpungin.  Most likely a trait you got from someone we know (nuninuninuninu!).  But most of the time, you are happy and easy to please.  Nanay and Tatay can make you laugh with silly faces or sounds or stories.  You are generally curious (though most babies are).  Your big eyes express how much you are absorbing information.  We could see how intent you are when you stare.  It can be disconcerting sometimes though. Haha!

Alon at ten months!

I also love love love that you have a sense of humor.  You do silly things like peek-a-boo (with only half your face covered) to make Nanay laugh or make pa-cute faces or just laugh out of nowhere. Sometimes, you'd show us something and smile triumphantly.  Or you'd laugh yourself silly when I carry you and kick your ball around.  I don't know what's funny but hearing your giggles motivates me up to run around along the corridor kicking after a baby's orange ball.

You have your sumpong, often when you are sleepy or want to go outside or do not want to eat or not feeling a bath or not wanting your teeth brushed or impatient when asking Nanay for milk.  But I try not to fuss too much about it.  You usually get over it fast.  It's funny though, you cry harder when you are in sumpong than when you get your vaccinations.  Your latest trip to the pedia, they injected you in the butt while you were playing with a toy.  You just had a quick "wah" and a half-second after, you were back to playing.

Alon at eleven months!

Dear, dear Alon!  There is so much to say about you.  Nanay can go on and on and on and still have something new to share.  I now understand why parents could not stop talking about their children.  Growing children are just amazing!  The rate of how much they are learning are phenomenal.  And you are our special little Alon.  We have been blessed to witness your growth.  We have been granted stewardship over you.  It is such a challenge but it is also such a gift.  I want to make the most of it since there will come a time when you might not want Nanay and Tatay watching over you too much and then at all.  So I want to take in all of you as much as I can.

You have taught me much about life, little one.  You have also taught me much about myself.  Things I never knew I was or things I never knew I was capable of.

Basta, Alon, know that your are lucky and blessed too.  That you are showered with love and surrounded with good people.  When you are older, I hope you learn gratitude and generosity.

Right now, go and discover the world some more.  My back may be hurting from bending over to see what you are seeing, but I have also been given the gift of seeing the world with a renewed sense of wonder, thanks to you.

Alon is one year old!

Mahal na mahal ka namin ni Tatay, Alon. :)

Nanay's Day is about Tatay too

This coming Sunday is my first official Mother's Day.  I'm excited. :)

Motherhood is a daily challenge but it is also a daily pleasure.  It has been a wonderful blessing to be Alon's mother.  There are times I would look at him and just feel that "kilig" of having a son like him.  I would not be able to quantify or qualify what "like him" means.  Alon just is, whatever is means. Maybe it means a not-so-little ball of sumpong and smiles and personality that just makes every day exciting even if we are just lying down together or playing.  But definitely much much more than that.

I would have to say though that I have much to thank Tatay Jan for, that I am able to be the best possible mother I can be to Alon.  (Of course, 10 months into the experience, I don't have much to show for yet.  But I think I can safely say that I do as much I can to take care of our son).

My wonderful husband has taken over some of the household chores so I can devote more time with Alon.  He has been doing the groceries since I gave birth (which would mean items not on the list are inside grocery bags. :P).  He does the laundry (delivering to the laundry shop for big items as well as washing socks and personal items).  He would buy dinner when there is nothing to cook.  He would make me breakfast (the best sandwiches ever!) to bring to the office or prepare my lunch containers.  And so many other things.

By freeing me up of some household chores, I get to spend more quality time with Alon.  Not only that, but he spends quality time with Alon himself.

He has been designated official nappy changer.  During the first few months, this took a lot of effort considering babies poop a lot.  Lately, he has gotten a little reprieve since Alon poops much less now.

He would sometimes bathe Alon when I ask him to.

He would also clean Alon's mess, whether a dirty high chair or food thrown on the floor.

He would read to Alon. 

 He would play with Alon.

While I was away for a long work trip, he managed Alon's meals and milk.  

He has not squished Alon when they sleep beside each other.  :P

I have seen the love and devotion he has for his son.  And again, that "kilig" feeling.  More than that, I get a sense of contentment and joy seeing them together bonding.

* * * * *

I remember a little poster my Father had when I was still young.  "The greatest gift a Father can give to his children is to love their mother."  It used to baffle me back then.  It was only now that I truly understood what that meant.

Alon has much to be thankful for for a Tatay like his own.  I have much to be thankful for to have a partner like Jan in raising a family.  Indeed, I am able to do more for our son because he does more for us. I am the mother that I am because he is the father that he is. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

The year that was 2012

I haven't answered this meme for several years already. Maybe because things got a little boring and most of things we worried about for the past two years were preparing the condo and getting furniture (some people would be excited by this but I have always been mobile and home stuff do not thrill me) and paying bills. Well, 2012 is still about that but with a big "little" extra that I can't get enough of


So thanks to Ina (and Lia who reminded Ina) for posting her year (and yey, Alon and I make a guest appearance!) because I'm copying her questions but not her answers of course.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
Got pregnant and gave birth! Snorkelling while pregnant. Saw a sea turtle in its natural habitat. Have a grand vacation with my family in Hongkong (thanks to my Mom’s sponsorship!)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t usually make any so I didn’t break any resolution. But with my bout with gestational diabetes, I resolved to lessen my softdrink and powedered juice intake. So far, I have been faring well with that one.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! And then there was Maricar and Fabiola and Sandra and Miwako and Alem from ISS (and a few of the boys had their wives/partners give birth too!). There was Sarji, Graziella, Evecar and Allison in the office. And Nic-Nic with their third girl. It was a pregnant year for my social circle!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don’t remember so that means no. It hurt to hear about still births though. :(

5. What countries did you visit?
Hongkong and Malaysia

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Motivation to write my thoughts down on paper. I think they are worth noting down. Hehe, feeling.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 4. Jan and I welcomed Alon to the world. :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Going to work in the morning (walked, rode a jeep and went up and down the stairs at that) and gave birth without anaesthesia in the afternoon. I am now a warrior. Bow before me, weaklings. Hehe!

And sustaining breastfeeding even if I had a few issues (and now different ones.) Until now, I'm working hard at it and hoping I can at least reach up to a year and even two (or three?).

9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping regular contact with my mom. Sometimes she doesn’t pick up kasi but I should still try more though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, I had gestational diabetes which I could say was a blessing in disguise. I was at my most healthy and most fit. It was easy giving birth and trimming down and I think it helped me provide my son with a healthy start in life too. :)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The adaptor for the Medela pump Rowie lent to me (thanks so much for that Row!). I was able to sustain having Alon on pure breastmilk for almost seven months now. And hopefully I can still keep it up. And those lactation cookies from Raquel and Mommy Treats. They really do seem to work. When I stopped, my production dip but now that I am back on them, my milk increased a bit. I still want to have more production though so I can have the opportunity to donate again.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nonay, because she has not been infected by the Manila urbanity (yet? Ever?) and I think she listens to her mom more now. Listening to your mom is always good! (Paging Alon!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Tito Sotto. Because really, how hard is it to admit your mistake?
CBCP. Because this fire and brimstone argument for anti RH bill did not win sympathies. I could argue against the bill without resorting to morality issues. Sheesh.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Furnishing the condo and pre-natal stuff and giving birth.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Alon

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Soft kitty, warm kitty. I sing it every night. Out of tune, but the baby doesn’t care. So there.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner and healthier!
iii. richer or poorer? Just the same I guess. Even if we spent a fortune on the condo and on the baby, we were still able to have some luxuries, so I would say we are blessed. :)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Write or blog.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying spells during post partum blues

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my mom and bro and Alon on the verandah of my aunt’s house in Davao. Jan was sick during Christmas eve with a stomach bug so was asleep. We spent most of the day in SM Lanang which had a nice breastfeeding station but poorly located. Then after 6.30, I just slept and slept and slept until the next day. With Alon waking me up for breastfeeding or nappy change.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
With Alon Camina. And when I remember to look at him properly, Jan Camina.

23. Who got together and who broke up?
There was an office romance. Ninin and Jerry got married. Kaira got married. I don’t know if anyone broke up.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory. Modern Family. How I met your mother. Ina, Kapatid, Anak. Be Careful with my Heart.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Annoyances here and there but not really hating anyone. No room for negativity.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Because it was one of the few books that actually made me confident with my parenting skills. I think attachment parenting is for me.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
U2 and Bob Marley for Babies. Thanks Tita Maita!

28. What did you want and got?
A boy.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t get to watch much. And I fell asleep during The Hobbit. Never watch a last full show if you are a new mom who hasn’t had a decent sleep for half a year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
34. I took care of the baby. I ate some pansit and had some cake and ice cream with Jan and my bro.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a two-bedroom condo

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Pormatics enough for a pregnant woman/new mom.

34. What kept you sane?
Maybe the internet and television. I was more depressed when we did not have any. :P

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tom Rodriguez. Ronaldo Valdez.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Cybercrime Law. RH Bill.

37. Who did you miss?
My sister. My mom. Yano.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Alon

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
That the heart is really, truly capable of loving deeply.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.